Squeamish 8-year-old daughter

“I wish someone had told me before that nails are made from dead cells. I never would have chewed them!”

10-year-old son to chatty 8-year-old sister

“You’re like a radio that I can’t turn OFF!”

Kitchen conversation between Oscar and Felix

E-Man , sighing while picking three slimy macaroni and cheese noodles off the table: “These kids have no concept of clean whatsoever!”

V-Grrrl, who often doesn’t remove the breakfast dishes from the table until right before she serves dinner: “I’m sure YOU never made a mess when you were a kid.”

E-Man: “Of course I didn’t! I don’t remember doing any of this.”

V-Grrrl: “I know, I know, I’m sure you were PERFECT.”

E-Man: “I was. Ask my Mom!”

V-Grrrl: “Babe, your mom survived raising three boys and made it to old age by forgetting most of your childhood. Consider yourself lucky.”

You Did What?!

“Mama! Guess what?! We swept all the leaves off the sidewalk down the street and put ‘em in a big, big trash bag and carried them home!”

“Why?!”

“Well we used them to decorate the yard. We spread them all over so it will look more autumn-y!”

School Picture

“I look a little funny. I mean I smiled a happy smile, but my hair was in a bad mood.”