Compost Studios

I woke up before the alarm went off this morning not because I was feeling fine and well rested but because my head was aching, my nose was congested, and my mouth was dry. Yes, once again Andrew, Emily, and I are all suffering with the way-too-common cold. Since I was awake early, I decided to go down and fix the kids a real breakfast: eggs, toast, grits and hot tea with chasers of Tylenol and Sudafed.

Andrew and I were both up in the night, drinking water, grabbing lip balm and dabbing vile Vapo-Rub under our noses. I can’t take decongestants at all and he can’t take them at night so we rely on the greasy, nasty smelling substance that is as revolting as it is effective.

I wanted to keep Andrew home from school, but instead I sent him because he has several tests today that I don’t want him to miss and have to make up later. Fourth grade has proved to be challenging, and his teacher holds him to a high standard. We spend a lot of time on homework, and we’re trying to do better this quarter because last quarter was lackluster. It is all too easy to get behind and harder to catch up.

Still, while my intentions are good, I feel guilty. Part of me knows that when you have a cold, you always feel the worst when you first get up and then you feel better. But I also know that sending him to school with a cold and a pocket full of Kleenex exposes other kids to the same fate. Yesterday I was at school teaching writing to second graders, and it seemed nearly every kid in the class had sniffles. It’s that time of year. I tell myself if I kept the kids home for every head cold, they would miss a lot of school. He isn’t coughing, sneezing or running a fever, I rationalize, we can deal with this. Another good sign: he eats an enormous breakfast, and I’m glad I took the time to fix it.

I make sure Andrew is dressed warmly in his softest sweats. I load his pockets with Kleenex and Chapstick. I tell him to call me if he doesn’t feel better by lunch time. I’m hoping the medication will relieve the hungover feeling you get with a cold overnight, and he’ll do OK.

Meanwhile, I’m popping some ibuprofen and drinking lots of tea, trying to relieve my aching head. Wish I could take something for my guilty heart. There is no cure for the common cold--or the difficulty and self-doubt of parenting.

November 17, 2005