Compost Studios

Most of the leaves are still on the trees here. We haven’t had a frost. And I’m trying to complete my Christmas shopping, wrapping, and mailing. Go ahead, gag if you want to.

I’ve always been one of those people who shops early, mostly because no matter how fabulous the sales, I can’t bear to go to a department store in December and be crushed by the surly crowds.

I would officially begin my Christmas shopping every year in mid-July when Hallmark launches its line of Keepsake Ornaments. The July holiday extravaganza was on my calendar a month in advance, and I’d happily step out of Virginia ’s summer heat into the icy air conditioning and seasonal music that accompanied the big Hallmark sale. I’d been shopping there for years, and I knew the owners and employees by name. I’d have my first homemade sugar cookie in more than half a year, load up my basket, hand over my charge card, and carry my big honking bags of ornaments to the car—the first packages to be sequestered in the trunk and brought into the house under cover of darkness.

In the coming months, I’d hit Wal-Mart, Target, and the mall early in the morning when they were virtually empty. I’d milk the Labor Day, Columbus Day, and Veteran’s Day sales for all they were worth. And by Thanksgiving, everything would be purchased and ready to mail. This let me spend December decorating my home and going to parades, concerts, and holiday gatherings and avoiding the Bah-Humbug Retail Rodeo.

But this year is different. In mid-July, I dutifully sat at my desk, went to Hallmark.com, pushed my mouse, and ordered my ornaments. No music, no candles, no familiar faces, no beautifully decorated designer Christmas trees, no sugar cookies made by the store owner’s elderly mother, no fun freebies at the checkout. It was a virtual experience in every sense of the word. Disappointing.

I’ve repeated the process in the past few months, pointing and clicking across the Web, hunting for gifts. It’s convenient but boring. No fun. No great deals. And I’m having a hard time finding the right gifts for some folks.

Why not shop the Belgian stores? Well, for one, I don’t’ know where to start. There are very few big stores, mostly small shops and I have no clue where to find the types of things I’m looking for. The small shops are expensive and the sales tax here is 24 percent. If they had truly original items, it would be worthwhile, but much of what they carry is the same as you’d find in any American store, so there’s no incentive to buy it locally.

Plus, I don’t have a car and have to get to the shops by bus or Metro and carry my purchases home. I just bought an LL Bean rolling duffle bag to help me with this task but shopping this way is a drag—literally. I’m pulling my purchases behind me as I go from store to store and the duffle can’t get too heavy or I’ll hurt myself lifting it onto the bus. Plus, shoes and clothing here are sized using a completely different system: Does Emily wear a 130 or a 140? Should I get those slippers in size 39? What’s the return policy at the store? You get the picture.

The final insult to my holiday shopping—I need to get everything mailed well BEFORE Thanksgiving this year. Because we use the military postal service, all our packages are transported from Europe to the U.S. by the armed services and then plugged into the U.S. postal service when they arrive there. During peak mailing times, it can take weeks for items to reach their recipients. So I either have to mail very early to make sure items arrive in time or risk that they won’t get there until January. So no, I can’t wait to see what’s offered at the big outdoor holiday markets next month—it will be too late. Sigh.

It’s enough to make a Grrrl say Bah-Humbug—in early November.

November 3, 2005