The darling little E-Grrrl had art club yesterday, and when her dad picked her up after school, she excitedly announced that the Three Kings were coming! She learned this in the class she has on Belgium culture each Thursday.

Yes, here in Belgium, according to her native teacher, the Three Kings deliver gifts on the eve of the Feast of Epiphany (known as Three Kings Day here.) E-Grrrl is so excited! More gifts! More mystery! More excitement! And it’s all happening tonight! Wow! It was quite a surprise to her parents too.

She and her dad had to stop at the best bakery in town to buy a Three Kings cake. Baked into the cake is a trinket of some sort (or a dry bean) and whoever gets the special item in their slice of cake gets to wear a crown and be treated as royalty on Three Kings Day. (You may also get a broken tooth or a first-hand experience with the Heimlech maneuver—it all depends on how lucky you are.)

Last night I discovered a tiny ceramic tile painted with the image of a crown in my piece of cake, and so I am wearing the gold crown provided by the bakery and only answering those who address me as “Your Highness.” Curtsying and bowing are much appreciated, and I’m carrying the little tile in my pocket in case anyone challenges me on my status as Queen.

But enough about me--back to E-Grrrl. After the cake ceremony, she and her brother rummaged through the refrigerator and pulled out carrots to leave for the three kings’camels as their teacher had instructed. Then they went to bed in a tizzy, E-Grrrl buzzing with anticipation, her brother nervous and creeped out at the thought of three kings entering the house after he fell asleep. (His mother’s son! I always thought Santa Claus was a bit like a stalker.)

E-Man and I, well we were tired. Very tired. We just didn’t have the energy or resources to tap to celebrate another gift-giving occasion. A month ago, St. Nicholas came and left candy and trinkets in the children’s shoes, just like the Belgian teacher said he would!!! Then of course, Santa Claus had come on Christmas Eve and brought them presents, just like he does in America!!! And now, here it was Three King’s Eve and the kids were ready for more, more, more!!! Mom and Dad crawled into bed on schedule, being sure to say a prayer that God would bless the Belgian culture teacher for sharing these wonderful stories with the kids and asking that in the future, she also share them with the parents so we all can enjoy these Belgian holidays by planning for them.

E-Grrrl woke this morning and greeted her mother in the bathroom with a long face. “They didn’t come! I can’t believe they didn’t come!” She checks for gifts under her bed, in her shoes, in the attic, downstairs, on the window sills—but there are no gifts to be found. She’s crushed. Upset. She’s sure she heard her teacher right. Maybe she left her carrots in the wrong place? Maybe they were coming tonight instead? She’s positive she heard footsteps on the steps last night. Positive!!!

Being a seasoned expat, I can see where things may have gone wrong:

• The Three Kings passports were not in order.
• They didn’t make it through the metal detectors at the check point with all that gold.
• They didn’t have a work permit and visa allowing them to deliver gifts in our neighborhood.
• They failed to register with the appropriate embassies and our commune.
• They didn’t have their Belgian identification cards and were detained by police.
• They got lost—we know how hard it is to navigate in Belgium.
• The camels went on strike demanding fresher carrots, more hay, reduced hours, and early retirement.
• The countries the kings represent are not members of the EU and did not have a trade agreement in place.
• The kings, unfamiliar with Belgian “priority right,” were involved in an unfortunate accident with a Mercedes.
• The kings had issues with NATO policies and boycotted the Brussels area as a result.
• Their royal accountants decided the tax structure in Belgium made it a poor choice for those with extensive assets.
• The camels did not have international health records and were not microchipped so they could not enter the country.

As all of us living in Belgium know, anything is possible. These issues crop up regularly for expats . I’m sure by next year, the three kings will have all their problems resolved and will visit E-Grrrl and her brother as expected.

© 2006 Veronica McCabe Deschambault. All rights reserved.

January 6, 2006