Compost Studios

I admit it—we’re not a family that’s plugged in to electronic entertainment. E and I were married for 20 years before we got a TV, and that one was inherited from his mom. We bought our first new TV last March and according to our children, we are the ONLY people in the school who have just one TV that’s hooked up to a DVD player.

We’ve never had cable, satellite, TiVo. No iPod, no Nintendo, no PlayStation. The kids are only allowed to watch television on weekends.

I’m mean, I know.

E and I kind of fell into the “simple life” early in our marriage when we didn’t have money to buy a TV and got used to life without one. Later when the kids came along, we resisted all the voices telling us our life would be easier if we just got a TV and let the kids watch educational shows. I’m sure they were right in many respects—life would have been easier. My kids were (and are) curious, creative, and prone to experimentation and living with their mad genius is not always pretty. When they were preschoolers, I lovingly referred to them as my domestic terrorists because they were always coming up with crazy schemes and activities, but the positive side is that they’ve grown into kids who like to play outside, explore the natural world, take care of pets and plants, build all sorts of things out of odds and ends, do art, and read books. They’re very creative and confident, and they’re good problem solvers.

As they’ve grown and their social circle and interactions have expanded, they’ve discovered a new world of electronics through their friends. My daughter got a Pixel Chick for her birthday, avidly played with it for about two weeks and then set it aside. She likes to occasionally play games on the computer, but will go for two or more weeks without interest.

My 11-year-old son, on the other hand, would play computer games all day if we let him. We limit him to an hour a day on weekends, and even then nearly every computer turn leaves him agitated and cranky. He gets fully absorbed in the game, frustrated, and can’t set it aside either mentally or physically. This is why we didn’t ever plan to get him a Game Boy. He has a tendency to be obsessive and persistent, and we didn’t want him to fall into the world of portable gaming for fear he’d never re-emerge into the real world.

But he received a lot of checks on his birthday in September—enough that he was able to buy a Game Boy Advance on his own. While we weren’t fully supportive of this purchase, we didn’t want to forbid it. We figured gaming in and of itself isn’t bad in moderation and that he needed to learn how to set limits on his own. Plus, we couldn’t deny he loved playing, and that if you’re an 11-year-old boy, being Game Boy literate is fairly important socially.

So the Game Boy made it into the house three months ago, and my son immediately began working on ways to acquire games, mostly by buying or trading for used ones among his social circle. In one clever trade, he made a friend a birch wood bow, arrows, and a quiver in return for several games. He has bought some games outright at consignment shops or from friends who are bored with them. A neighborhood boy has given him some for free. He’s not allowed to have explicitly violent games.

He takes his Game Boy everywhere. He plays it on the bus, in the car, and after school. Occasionally we insist he put it away, but other than that the only restrictions on use is no Game Boy until his schoolwork is completed and no Game Boy right before bed. Mostly we let him set his own limits—but we both think he plays it too much and that it distracts him from finding more constructive and active things to do. We keep hoping the novelty will wear off and eventually he’ll lose interest on his own. We try to make sure he has other interesting things to do--good books to read, Scout projects to work on--but that strategy doesn't always work.

How do the rest of you handle Game Boys? Do you set limits on usage? Do you just accept it as a cool toy and not worry about how much they play? Did your kids lose interest after a while? I’m curious, wondering if I’m the only parent concerned about gaming becoming a negative thing.

December 19, 2006