OK—it’s official. My expat fat’s one-year visa expired on March 21. It’s time for the pounds to kiss my ass goodbye. Now that I have been here one year, I’m evicting all my excuses.

The other day I went by the mirror in our foyer and was sobered by my reflection. Baggy sweatpants, slightly high water, revealing white socks and big clunky Nikes, stretched out turtleneck covered by a floppy charcoal gray zip front cardigan sweaters. OMG, since when did I start embracing the “Mr. Rogers in a Nursing Home” look? All I needed was a walker to complete my sad, saggy ensemble.

My descent into ever uglier daytime attire has been fueled by the ascent of inches around the waist and hips. My cute sweaters did not look cute while gripping my gut. My jeans and chinos have been clenching an area far more personal. Every time I pull them over my hips I feel like I’ve just had an encounter with Chester the Molester. To avoid the degradation of my uncomfortable moments with Chester, I gradually became an all sweatpants all the time kind of gal.  Sheesh.  Not pretty!

So to escape both Chester the Molester and Sweatpant Syndrome,  I bought two “healthy weight loss” cookbooks and two magazines with the same theme. Yeah, I already know how to cook light, cook healthy, and lose weight. Five years ago I lost 15 pounds and kept it off until we moved here. Weight loss isn’t rocket science—it’s just hard work.As such, it's easy to procrastinate getting started. Spending the money on the books and magazines represents a commitment to JUST DO IT. The new recipes with nutrition information should inspire me to change my evil ways and keep track of what I eat. I’ve been doing pretty well with aerobic exercise but need to add weight training to the mix.

No, I’m not bold enough to post my starting weight here but I will tell you my goals:

• I want every pair of pants and every straight skirt in my closet to fit again. No more muffin tops! Goodbye Chester!
• I want to be able to wear my more fitted sweaters and short sleeve shirts without feeling like a random fug.
• I don’t expect to be “skinny” or “buff”—just healthy and trimmer.
• For all this to happen, I probably will need to lose 10-15 pounds and at least one to two inches off my hips and waist.

There now, I’ve put it in writing. This is my contract with myself. You all are my witnesses and virtual support group. Anyone that wants me to join me can send an e-mail or post a comment and we’ll encourage each other. I’ll provide a progress report once a week on Tuesdays until Memorial Day.

Anybody with me?

March 28, 2006