Compost Studios

It’s the middle of May and in expat circles that means one thing—moving. Many of the people we’ve come to know in Brussels are preparing for new assignments.

For some families, this means a return to the U.S. Many military families I’ve met end up in Virginia, close to Washington, D.C., and not too far from my former home. One family is leaving cool, gray, rainy Belgium for the blistering hot, dry desert of Arizona. Talk about meteorological whiplash! That’s almost as bad as the family that moved here after living in Hawaii for several years.

Some folks are waiting to hear if they’ll be moving to another part of Belgium or to The Netherlands or to a more exotic locale like India. Others are off-loading belongings left and right to prepare for a stint in a small house in Japan. A number of State Department employees are heading to posts in the Stans—you know places like Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan. (Don’t feel bad if you need to consult a globe to pinpoint locations. I had to do the same thing.)

Unlike me, these military and diplomatic families have moved over and over again. They’re accustomed to packing up, moving on, and starting over, usually in places chosen for them, not by them. The U.S. government smoothes the transition, normally providing schools, support, and recreation services, but moving is moving.

I admire military and diplomatic families’ resilience, openness to change, and willingness to let go of expectations and forge ahead. They travel light in every sense of the word—decluttering their lives of excess emotional and physical baggage. They’re experts at leaving the past behind and picking up their life in another community, in another country, in another part of the world.

My own experience as an expat in Brussels has been so different. Saying goodbye is not a way of life for me. I had lived in my community in Virginia for 15 years. Moving to Belgium was a radical choice for our family, but one I don’t regret. I was in a rut in the U.S.—a nice rut, but a rut nonetheless. Moving physically and psychologically outside my comfort zone has been good for me. Yet, since I re-located here more than a year ago, I’ve felt as if my life is suspended between two places and multiple points of view. I’m no longer rooted in one place, and that’s both liberating and uncomfortable.

Moving overseas has made me realize I’m far more adaptable than I thought was. I have more confidence and know that I can find happiness in a variety of places and settings. Living abroad has also highlighted all that I love and miss in America—as well as all that I’ve been glad to leave behind. In short, being an expat has given me some objectivity and a birds’ eye view of my life. Whether flying into the wind or gliding on an easy current, one thing I’m sure of: I can land almost anywhere.

May 18, 2006