Compost Studios

Keyboard: So, what are we going to write about today?

V-Grrrl: Beats me. I’ve exhausted all the hot topics: the weather, the price of watermelons, acceptable colors of nail polish, and what I did on my summer vacation. Yesterday I blogged on how tired I am. When you’ve explored all the really important issues—what’s left?

Keyboard: Um, maybe you could write about something dull—you know, sex, drugs, politics?

V-Grrrl: Ah, I don’t want to write about Bush or bush. The E-Man would freak out.

Keyboard: How about health and fitness?

V-Grrrl: Listen, if I give my expat fat another 15-minutes of fame, it will never ride off into the sunset. It already has a bloated self-image. I’m going to sit on that topic and hope it disappears.

Keyboard: You could blog on your kids….

V-Grrrl: True, if only I could remember all the funny things they say. I don’t want to immortalize their whining and bickering. Right now they’re painting and fighting over whose picture is best, who’s wasting paint, and who just farted. It’s not a Kodak moment. It’s not a sitcom moment. It’s more a Planned Parenthood moment.

Keyboard: Maybe you should get out of your bathrobe, have another cup of tea, and see if the Muse comes calling.

V-Grrrl: Great idea. Why would the Muse speak to an over-40 chick in dorky glasses with bedhead and Ugg slippers? I need to improve my image and shed the bathrobe. Now where did I put my sweatpants?

August 2, 2006