...in the kitchen supervising homework for hours after school, reconciling what's been done and what hasn't been done on three weeks worth of school work. We have until Monday to make up  all those missing assignments. Yesterday it took at least two hours to do just that day's assignments.  Anticipating a weekend of homework hell. I hope it rains. I wish I had a Valium--or ten--to get me through. 

My washing machine is leaking, and I don't know who to call to get it replaced (it's a loaner and I can't find the file with the contact info on it because it was delivered in the midst of our move). It's been really hot, and E and the kids are involved in sports so we're generating tons of sweaty laundry. I'm desperate. I keep using the washer and letting it dump big puddles of water on the floor because I can't stop doing laundry or I. Will. Never. Catch. Up.

I wonder about living a life that revolves around bleaching underwear and getting mud stains out of socks .

I've spent so many hours at the school this week dealing with crises of various natures that I've had very little time to deal with domestic duties. And to make matters worse, I've been so exhausted babysitting parenting one child that the other has gotten absolutely nothing from me. Triple the effort, double the guilt.

 E left on a trip today and no sooner did he go out the door that the water softener in the basement started beeping. It's out of some key chemical that can only be purchased by the plumber at a contractor supply store. The alarm won't stop beeping, the instructions on the freakin thing are in German, and I just want to scream. Or take a hammer to it. That would be singularly satisfying. 

As I type this, I have a child sobbing over a missing pet rock named Spicky. I am not making this up. Spicky has a special bed, a habitat, and its own plate at the dinner table. (And you thought the Addams Family was full of freaks.)  I ought to be crying. Spicky was the best pet we've ever had at Chez V. Ya gotta love something that doesn't shed, eat, make noise, excrete, require shots, a cage, or boarding. Who knew that damn pebble could break hearts?

A perfect GPA and I'm unemployed, drowning in housework and homework with mildew growing in the shower stall, dust coating every flat surface, spiders and cobwebs taking over the corners, and piles of laundry everywhere. I was voted Most Likely to Succeed, and I live with an elementary school dropout and a kid having a nervous breakdown over a geological formation. Where did I go wrong?

I want to outsource my life. 

I know there are bigger problems in the world. Tonight I'm too self-centered to care.

Thanks for listening.

September 14, 2006.