It all started with a post featuring a poem by Erica Jong that spoke of the plight of women who "loved houses better than themselves." It was January  2006, and a new commenter named Di stopped by my blog to let me know she loved that poem too and was also an expat in Belgium. 

I didn't know it at the time, but to "meet" Di in a post that included poetry and laments about housework was cosmic. As our friendship slowly unfolded, our love of art and our frustration with the baggage of domestic life would be a theme we'd revisit again and again and again.

Her blog included thought provoking quotes, photography, political commentary, links, and bits and snippets of her life. When she very shyly asked if my family would mind posing for her developing photography portfolio, I jumped on the opportunity to have her point her camera our way. It was just a wee bit more than a year ago that I finally met Di in person during the shoot, which occurred on her birthday. I offered to use my PR and marketing skills to help her launch a photography business and we began corresponding regularly.

Out of that correspondence came the soul of our friendship. We both struggled with finding our creative voices and making a new life in Belgium, having confidence in our respective talents, and believing in our choices. I loved the way Di boldly plunged into Antwerp's diverse community, volunteering to act as a photographer with the Antwerp Integration Office and throwing herself into getting to know the faces and lives of the more than 165 nationalities and ethnic groups in her home city. She has a true passion for people and loves to capture the essence of their stories in her images.  Her experiences as a "woman wandering" have given her a strong sense of justice and a tender heart for refugees, immigrants, and outsiders, something I really admire. 

Last night she and Gert hosted another of their soirees, bringing together people from all over.  I used the party as an excuse to celebrate Di's birthday (which was Tuesday) and the anniversary of our first meeting last year. I baked her an orange cake glazed with Grand Marnier and presented her with a special gift, a bracelet designed for her by my friend Lisa.

I told Lisa I wanted something "warm and earthy" for Di, and that I wanted it to include a silver charm that says "Believe," to remind Di to believe in herself, her art, and our friendship.

Lisa visited Di's Web site, checked out her photography, and then came up with a design that she and I discussed via e-mail. The main beads of the bracelet are unakite, which is the official stone of my home state, Virginia. Unakite is brought down from the Blue Ridge Mountains by river into the state's verdant valleys. I grew up in the shadow of the Blue Ridge and spent many an afternoon on the Maury River, so unakite was a perfect selection. The center bead is glass, and its pattern suggested mountains to Lisa. It seemed a fitting symbol for Di, a native of New Zealand. Last night I arrived at the party early so I could give her the bracelet and was thrilled to see how well it "matched" her inside and out.

Later Peter and I shared conversation and birthday cake and compared waistlines.  Di and I agree his so called belly fat is a pathetic excuse for middle-aged spread, and if he complains about the size of his jeans, we'll be forced to act unladylike and remind him his jeans are smaller than ours. Ahem. And for the record, the conversation may or may not have included the "O" word. We're not telling. No we're not. We're nice Grrrls and Peter is, as he says, "shy and reserved" and even dressed "like an accountant." We're already planning another get together, a Grrrl's weekend in Antwerp. Peter says he'll come in drag. ; )  If he fattens up a bit, I'll loan him something to wear. ; )

October 28, 2007