Neil recently ventured into therapy in an attempt to understand himself and save his marriage. He's been blogging about the experience with honesty and humor and occasional wise-cracks from his sassy wife Sophia.  Today I read his post on how he spent a few hours in Border's reading self-help books, trying to find the one that would define his problem with a neat label and offer a solution or strategy for dealing with his neuroses.

In all of my years of introspection, soul gardening, and wrestling with depression, I've never, ever read a self-help book. I've always felt that they were marketing ploys preying on the vulnerability of insecure people in distress. I tend to view the authors not as experts but vultures, their motivations being based not on improving people's lives but lining their own pockets. I find them distasteful because I think they're exploiting the weak. Hmmm, so what does that attitude say about me?

Dr. Laura. Dr. Phil. Dr. Ruth. All the Dr. First Names make me want to throw up. They're so entranced with their own celebrity and blinded by their sound-bite biases.  They're more entertainers than professional therapists.

I've always felt that if I were attracted to a self-help book, it would be because it was telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. Which begs the question: why would I need to read it in the first place? Why pay money to have my own belief system reinforced by a toothy-grinned pseudo psychologist?

All my life, I've used journaling as a tool to unravel tangled thoughts and help me let go of painful experiences. I don't read or study the Bible anymore, but I've always attended church and like a sermon that engages my brain on a lot of levels. I don't meditate formally, but I embrace silence. A walk in the woods is a sure way to clear my head. I often find wisdom and good advice in blogs and the comments readers leave behind, and I have a circle of friends whose words and intentions I deeply trust. If I felt it would help me, yeah, I'd get counseling or see a therapist. I respect that process.

How about you? Where do you look for answers? Who do you trust? Do you consider yourself introspective? How do you clear your mind, make sense of your life, release negative thoughts?

November 4, 2007