No toga parties. No secret makeout sessions. No drinking until you're face down on the lawn, and no food fights. It's not THAT Animal House--but it's close. While our friends travel, we're pet sitting. Meet the crew:
This fish is so photogenic and friendly. Mr. Congeniality. Introduce yourself because as you can tell, he's "damn glad to meet you."
What? You can't see our fish in this tank? They're hiding, ashamed of themselves, suffering from low self-esteem since they met the flashy Betas. Now they know they're the nerds of the fish world. They're never going to be cool and popular. They're not Betas, they're Deltas!
This is Benjamin Rabbit. He's the soft-eyed one that all the girls love. Doesn't he look sweet? Do you want to pet him? Of course you do, until you realize he sleeps in his litter box. We've all met guys like this--the ones with dirty secrets.
This is Picky. He doesn't look like a guy you could trust, does he? Your instincts would be right. This photo was taken just as he pooped on Mr. A's bathrobe.
Petey had a conversion experience over spring break. He's living in an altered state. One minute he was sleeping on the furry rug in his bachelor pad having a sweet dream about his blonde vet. The next minute he's on a road trip, going to see her! What a strange trip it turned out to be. He woke up with a sore spot on his neck, a wet tail, an inability to walk a straight line, and no memory of what had happened.
He's not the man he used to be. He's lost his swagger--and something else too.
Moral of the story: never fall asleep next to a blonde with a scalpel.
April 11, 2007