(Note from school)

Dear Parents,

WE HAVE FROGS!!! (So, of course, now we have to get rid of frogs....)

If your child would like to take home some tadpoles, please give your permission to have them bring some home tomorrow after school. You may either bring in a container and take them, or send a small container with your child to take home on the bus. Please review some rules with your child: do NOT take the frogs out of the container, do NOT throw frog water on anyone on the bus, do NOT take the container out of your backpack on the bus, do NOT drop the container, give the container to your parent as soon as you walk through the door at home. That should cover it. :-)

Please e-mail me if your family would like some!!!

Thanks in advance,

Mrs. Elementary School Teacher

(Witty Mom #1 replies)

Wow! Frogs on the bus... now that sounds like an exciting Friday.

P.S. Do the frogs need a bus pass?

(V-Grrrl jumps into conversation and copies all recipients)

Dear Witty Mom #1,

We're so glad you brought this to our attention!

Paperwork must be filed in triplicate with Mr. Transportation Guy three days in advance. Ms. School Secretary may or may not have the proper forms, and they may or may not be readable due to copy toner insufficiencies and office budget shortfalls.

Ms. School Nurse has informed us that an Amphibian Certificate of Health must be attached to the Request for Waiver of Normal Bus Protocols, and the frogs must have indicated they will not hold the school district responsible for any injuries or emotional trauma that occurs during transit.

Children whose parents do not permit them to take frogs home will be offered Grief Counseling by certified professionals. Written permission to receive said counseling must be in today and be signed by BOTH parents.

Parents refusing to let frogs into their home are required to attend Amphibian Sensitivity Training to deal with their issues and prejudices. It's not easy being green

Sincerely,

V-Grrrl

(Mrs. Elementary School Teacher responds)

LOL.

I think V-Grrrl should get all of the leftover frogs. Who's with me on that issue???

Mrs. Elementary School Teacher

(V-Grrrl responds)

Let the record show that Chez V-Grrrl has taken in ALL of Ms. D's frogs, ALL of Mr. C's, and ALL of Mr. S's.

According to regional school protocols and European Union conservation guidelines, Chez V has hit its quota and cannot host anymore amphibians.

Sorry Mrs. Elementary School Teacher. You should have filed your Request for Amphibian Relocation earlier.

Have a nice weekend. Think Green.

V-Grrrl

May 18, 2007