The first day of summer arrives after several nights of insomnia. There are a lot of fun ways to get tangled up in the sheets; tossing and turning while swatting at mosquitoes isn't one of them.

I got bitten on both cheeks and grew a zit on my chin overnight, a trifecta of ugliness demanding industrial strength concealer this morning. Good thing I already had the Revlon out to deal with my undereye circles.

I'm under the influence of whoremones hormones. I can't decide if I have too much estrogen or not enough. I think the levels change hourly, and even Petey the Black Cat is scared and superstitious. He hasn't slept with me for two nights.

Sleep won't sleep with me either.

So I stare into the dim light and think of everything and nothing and wonder about the shape of my life and the choices I've made and the two kiddos down the hall.

I dare to ask the Big Questions and wish for what I can't have.

And I dream of dreaming, of wandering down the road not taken, of being someone else for a night, or a day, or even a summer.

 June 21, 2007

Copyright 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl in the Middle.