Even though we've been planning our trip to America for 9 months, and I've been eagerly anticipating it, I can't believe tomorrow is my last full day in Belgium for five weeks. I've given Rock Grrrl and her friend a crash course in mass transit and Belgian living, handed over maps and guidebooks, and now tomorrow I pack, and Friday we leave.
The washing machine is chugging and I'm consulting my lists. The last time I had to live out of a suitcase for this long, I found that I did fine with a limited amount of clothing but missed a lot of the grooming products I'd left behind in my quest to be efficient: the body scrub, my perfumes, my pumice stone, my scented lotions and hand creams. I'm more of a girly grrrl than I like to admit. I can wear the same outfits over and over and over again only if I have my favorite scents on underneath it all. If I had room, I'd bring my big fluffy periwinkle bathrobe--my ultimate comfort object, even in summer.
Our schedule is set, our plans made, and so there's little anxiety regarding what we'll be doing when. Social and business engagements, medical appointments, new house hunting and old house maintenance are all on the calendar. I've tended to all the details of the trip, and I'm excited about it, but a bit of anxiety perks under the surface.
How will America feel to me after two and a half years of living in Europe? What if after our visit, I don't want to move back next year? Or, conversely, what if I come back to Belgium in August and it doesn't feel like home anymore? True, part of expat life is never feeling completely at home anywhere, but it's one thing to accept that intellectually, it's another thing to feel it in your gut.
Will walking through the house we own, now being rented by a friend, make me smile, make me sad, or make me feel uneasy?
We can't see everyone on this trip--will those we can't manage to visit be insulted?
E's mom has a plethora of serious health issues that she's dealing with and requires 24 hour care. She lives with E's sister and has nurses that tend to her. We'll be taking on caretaking duties for a week and I wonder what that week will be like. E has seen his mom several times since we moved but the kids and I haven't. It will be hard for all of us to face how much her condition has deteriorated and to see her suffering. I'm sure it will unearth memories of caring for my own parents when they were seriously ill and those emotions will be hard to deal with as well.
Through it all, I plan to blog from my trusty laptop and post photos of our adventures in America. I will answer e-mails and keep in touch as I can. So don't be a stranger and keep coming by to see me. I'm counting on y'all to share the good, the bad, and the ugly with me and keep me grounded as I travel from Brussels, Belgium, to Woodbridge, Virginia to Fredericksburg, Virginia, to King George, Virginia to Williamsburg, Virginia, to Charleston, South Carolina, to Jacksonville, Florida, to Virginia Beach and back to Brussels.
I hope we all have a "bon voyage" together.
June 27, 2007