V-Grrrl: Geez, keyboard, it’s Thursday afternoon and I have no idea what to write about for my Expatica.com blog.

Keyboard: How about a humorous piece on that guy you saw on the bike—the one wearing white socks, Docksiders, black spandex bicycle shorts with a dress shirt TUCKED INTO the shorts?

V-Grrrl: Sigh. There’s not enough material there to write a whole post.

Keyboard:  Except that right after that, you saw the guy with the flowing white hair and long beard pedaling slowly uphill looking like Santa Claus trying to work off too many Christmas cookies.

V-Grrrl: What would be my theme? Weird people on bikes? That’s not an expat topic.

Keyboard: I guess you’re right. Well you could tell that whole long story about how you didn’t know Monday was a Belgian holiday and so you stayed up really late Sunday night getting the trash and recyclables sorted and bagged to be put out…

V-Grrrl: And then I got up early to go into Brussels for a doctor’s appointment but the bus didn’t come because of the holiday schedule…

Keyboard: And so you spent all that time you could have been sleeping waiting around for a bloody bus to show up and then you finally got to the Metro station and walked a mile to the doctor’s office…

V-Grrrl: Only to discover the doctor wasn’t there--probably home SLEEPING…

Keyboard: And all the cafés were closed so there was no place to stop and get lunch…

V-Grrrl: And we were out of milk and cat food and the grocery stores were closed too…

Keyboard: So you dragged yourself all the way home from Brussels only to see the trash you’d stayed up late sorting was still sitting on the curb because EVERYONE WAS ENJOYING A HOLIDAY but you!

V-Grrrl: Oh Keyboard, just talking about Monday makes me tired and cross. It was such a waste…plus it’s embarrassing to admit that even after two years here, I still don’t know when the holidays are.

Keyboard: Me neither. Did you ever find out what the Belgians were celebrating on Monday?

V-Grrrl: I think it was International Annoy V-Grrrl Day.

May 31, 2007