We celebrated my son A’s birthday in early September and my daughter E-Grrrl’s birthday yesterday, and today the kids started talking about Christmas. Yes, it’s only October 1.

I’m still hungover from coordinating two birthday celebrations in September, E has several major trips between now and the end of the year and is under pressure to meet deadlines in between them, we’re feeling the financial pinch of the dollar’s value dropping just as we need the income to prepare for our move, and the move itself looms on the horizon.

We wanted to make a few more trips while we’re still in Europe and have talked about going to Ireland, Bavaria, and Paris but whenever it comes time to make a decision and commit to a trip, we waffle. The kids have a number of long weekends on their schedule, but E doesn’t feel he can be out of the office. So many expenses and so little time.

So we sit feeling vaguely agitated about wasting time and missing opportunities to travel knowing that if we commit to travel we’ll be agitated about expenses and work. Our weekends are rapidly becoming booked with sports and Scouts as well.

And now the kids are talking about Christmas, and it just makes me cringe. I’m not ready to even think about preparing for Christmas or consider what follows. Christmas has become not a holiday but a benchmark in the moving process. Consider:

After Christmas, our life in Belgium rapidly shifts gears as we get our household and cars ready to ship back to the U.S. and move into an apartment after the packers come.

After Christmas, I have to be ready to occupy that uncomfortable place between being home in Belgium and going home to America.

After Christmas, we have to swim through all the details of coordinating an international move—switching insurance, gathering medical and school records, getting the cat an international health certificate, doing change of addresses, out processing through the military and Embassy channels, turning in IDs, arranging for travel etc.

After Christmas, we need to figure out where we’ll be staying in the U.S. while we wait for our household goods to arrive and how we’ll handle transportation while waiting for our second car.

After Christmas, we need to decide whether our kids will be attending public school or private school.

After Christmas, I need to have a concrete plan in place for my career.

After Christmas, life will be stressful and exciting, full of endings and beginnings, goodbyes and hellos.

And today, on October 1, I’m not ready to think about it.

October 1, 2007