A few months ago, Neil was showered with cards, gifts, and tributes from fellow bloggers in a virtual birthday party organized by his wife, Sophia. When it came time to write thank you notes, Neil openly wondered how to sign his name on letters to people that (for the most part), he’d never even met.
When I was a teenager, it was so easy to sign cards and letters “Love, Veronica.” I never really wondered if it was appropriate. Back then love was in the air, easy to give and easy to receive, and to this day, some of my closest friends are people I first hooked up with in middle school and high school.
Then at some point in my 20s, after I got married, I started to pause and wonder, “Should I sign this ‘Love, Veronica’?”
Love became a gray area and a source of debate. Who should I use the “L” word with and when?
The advent of electronic mail and abbreviated communications provided an easy out because it gradually diminished the sense that a message should end with a formal closing. In the digital world, it was easy and perfectly acceptable to just sign my name or not sign at all. That was OK and certainly simplified matters.
Still, as a writer, the meaning and use of the “L” word and the necessity of using a closing phrase became a source of personal debate, and I sought appropriate alternatives.
I like the slightly formal but not-too-stuffy good intentions conveyed in “Best” or “All the best.” “Take care” is both casual and sincere and carries a certain warmth and concern. I also favor the lighthearted and convivial “Cheers.” And there are even times when “Peace” is the last word I want to leave with someone before signing off.
One word I never use is “Fondly.” For some reason that strikes me as distinctly tepid, like a limp handshake or faint praise. I’ll pass, thanks.
The upside of the changes in correspondence practices is that it’s helped me recognize the evolution of some relationships, to notice when acquaintances become friends, and when a friend becomes a good friend: someone I’ve trusted with a big piece of myself and someone I carry with me.
As we exchange ever more relevant truths and dig deeper into the past and present, the debate on how to sign a note evaporates. When the “L” word pops onto the page on its own, I smile, pause, and think how lucky I am. Love is once again easy to give and receive, and I feel like I’m 16 all over again.
June 19, 2007
©2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl in the Middle. All rights reserved.