Great Expectations

It’s picture day at school today. Last night E-Grrrl and I went through her drawers looking for something appropriate to wear—meaning a flattering color, simple lines, no fussy details. She chooses a favorite pink dress, and after her shower, I blow dry her hair so the ends turn under. She finds a pink hairclip to wear the next day. I pick a blue shirt for Andrew to wear and dry his hair as well, an attempt to subdue his cowlicks in advance.

This morning at the bus stop, little Kelly Donlen’s hair is pulled into two perfect ponytails sporting big pink poms-poms. Her brother Nick looks like my son A’s long lost brother. Same fair skin, blond hair with cowlicks slicked down, blue eyes, and sprinkling of freckles. Emily Donlen, a seventh grader, is furious with her mom for moving the part on her hair. She stalks off in frustration. Justin, the adorable wide-eyed kindergartener, is cute as always—you could swim in his big brown eyes topped with long dark lashes Sarah, a seventh grader with wavy auburn hair, almond-shaped eyes, lots of coppery freckles and dramatic eyebrows is an exotic beauty—but doesn’t know it.

I stand with the other moms, each of us relating school picture success stories and disasters. Getting a good school picture matters so much more to us now. If the photos are disappointing, we don’t have the option of waltzing into JC Penney to have the children’s portraits redone at an affordable price. We have far fewer options because Europeans don’t have their children professionally photographed on a regular basis like Americans do. We’re counting on the harried school photographer to somehow magically capture all that we love about our kids in the three minutes he’ll see them.

So we send our children onto the bus with combs in their pockets, ribbons in their hair, and instructions not to get dirty. We want to hold onto this time in our lives when our days revolve around our families, and our children’s faces are full of innocence, hope, love, and a touch of mischief. Each day, they step a little bit further into reality. The world intrudes with all its heartaches, disappointments, mysteries, and injustices even as we try to keep our kids hearts from being trampled before they’re strong enough to bear what they’ll need to bear later in life.

Who knows what sorrows tomorrow will bring? All we have is now. So please, please, please let the school photographer succeed in capturing this day in our lives, when just for a moment our biggest concern is whether the kids’ hair is all right and it is ever so easy to smile.

September 28, 2005