The Room Mom Hates Me

My son’s room mom is organizing the class Thanksgiving feast for Wednesday, assigning food for each parent to bring.

I’ve been assigned turnips.

Yeah, TURNIPS.

I have been laid low in the worst way. Clearly our social stock has FALLEN if I have been handed the piece of paper with the message “Please bring enough turnips to serve 10 children.”

My only hope for ensuring my son’s upward social mobility in the elementary school hierarchy is to work my way up the Thanksgiving food chain to mashed potatoes, corn pudding, sweet potatoes or apple pie. But don’t you just know the women with those assignments are hanging on to them for dear life. Not one of them would trade assignments with a turnip bringer. Just ASKING would be humiliating. I may as well paint a big “L” on my forehead.

And so I’m resigned to my fate. My son and I will forever be remembered as the freaks that brought the turnips to the Thanksgiving lunch. There will be sly chuckles and raised eyebrows at PTA meetings. Backstabbers will ask me about my “fabulous turnip recipe.” None of my son’s friends will come over to our house, “Dude, your mom serves TURNIPS. Like, I only play with Pop Tart eaters!” And you just know when we enter the school restrooms, people will smirk and hold their noses---ewww, the turnip people are getting ready to cut loose!

We can only pray this debacle all blows over by 5^th grade, which could happen--but only if I don’t get asked to bring a raw vegetable platter to the class Christmas party.

November 21, 2005

Comments

[Granola-grrrl]

See, you're right; the Room Mom is trying to make a fool of you. The best revenge is to come up with a turnip recipe that puts all the corn casseroles to shame, so that the kids pass up their dessert for another serving of turnips. Ummm..... anyone? Anyone?Good luck!

[Shirl Grrrl]

That is such an ODD thing to ask a parent to bring! I don't think my kids even know what a turnip is! But there has to be some good recipes out there! If you can mash cauliflower and add sour cream, bacon and cheese and call it faux baked potatoes, you surely can do the same with turnips. And if not the turnips themselves, then you can always cook the greens the good old Southern way. Good Luck, Turnip Grrrl!

[Brooke]

TURNIPS?!?!Good god...those poor children. No, wait a minute...poor you!Is there no way to claim an extreme turnip allergy or something?

[Lynn]

OK, I haven't actually cooked turnips before, but I've been roasting root vegetables lately and I like how they turn out. You cut them up (into cubes or slices), sprinkle olive oil, salt, and pepper over everything and stir it up - cook at about 350 or 400 until they are soft. I've done a mix of carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, and butternut squash. I really like it! (I've also seen where you could pour butter over it and season with some sugar, cinnamon, and ginger) Might be worth experimenting with, one turnip at a time to see if it's any good! (I have to say, I don't really like turnip greens, and I'm a HUGE collard greens fan...)

[Flubberwinkle]

Turnips? Maybe the teacher has assigned raw vegetables to all mothers in order to reenact the original Thanskgiving supper. Mayhaps, the other mothers have received corn or pumpkin or apple notes. If that is the case the turnips will get lost in the crowd of raw vegetables and fruits and no problem!(Maybe you could make turnip brownies, and say that it is an old Indian recipe that saved the Pilgrims from sure death that winter).:-)

[V-Grrrl]

The rest of the story: Flubberwinkle is right--I've discovered the theme is an "authentic" Thanksgiving feast. But I'm still confused over where I stand on the social food chain. Clearly the fruit tart people are at the TOP, but am I, the lone turnip person in a worse position than the white radish or cabbage bearers? And exactly where do the bringers of pine nuts, berries, plums, pumpkin soup, fish, duck, turkey, corn, carrots, cornbread, and brown bread fit in? I'll have to let you know. With Lynn's roasted root vegetable recipe, I may rise like smoke off the Pilgrim's fire. Of course, I could be a total American mom and cover the freakin turnips with butter, sugar, cinnamon and MARSHMALLOWS. Hah! Screw an authentic Thanksgiving. I'm a Southern Grrrl at heart. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

[Melanhead]

Turnips... is that a European thing?

Just rebel and make a carrot souffle. 2 lbs of carrots skinned and chopped finely, boil until soft. Then throw them in a mixer with a few tablespoons of flour, a few teaspoons of baking powder, half a cup of sugar, 3 eggs, stick of butter, and a pinch of cinammon. Bake for 40 minutes or so. Voila! Everyone will love you.