I've got a big, big problem

by Mike on the Bottom

The following spam subhead in my work email inbox stopped me in my tracks this week:
MIKE, 67 PERCENT OF WOMEN DON'T LIKE YOU

It turns out that size DOES matter to more than two-thirds of women, and the company that sent this email can help me with my little problem for a low, low price. 

Hmmm. So THAT'S why women editors have a problem with me.

Wait. If 33 percent of women DO like me, I'm doing pretty well for myself.

Is the glass half empty or half full? Or should I say, 67 percent empty or 33 percent full?

When, oh when, will women stop thinking of men as sex objects and appreciate sensitivity?

Discuss

Mike on the Bottom, aka Michael Zitz Beckham, is a journalist, baseball fanatic, and FOVG (Friend of V-Grrrl). She likes him a lot about 67 percent of the time. 

Comments

[V-Grrrl]

The ugly truth: whenever women get together,they talk about the size of their asses or the size of their breasts. So size DOES matter. Just not your size.

As for your relationship with women editors, I recommend dispensing with the rolled up sock in your pocket, and asking with deep concern whether your boss is OK, because gosh,she sure is looking like she lost a lot of weight. ; )

[Mike]

You mean I should say "Your ass doesn't look as fat as it did last month"??

It might come across as a cheap shot. But, hey.

[TB]

Hey, a 33% female approval rating isn't too shabby. I think you're doing better than Bush.

[V-Grrrl]

Saddam is doing better than Bush! HaHa.

Bush needs a bigger sock in his pocket AND a sock in his MOUTH.

[Brooke]

My spam seems to want me to have both larger breasts AND a larger penis.
I need neither.