Granola Grrrl Gives New Meaning to the Word "Anal"
December 8, 2005 at 3:08
"Anal" is usually used to describe someone whose attention to detail is a little over the top (isn't that a nice way to say that?). Sometimes that is me, for sure. The Martha Gene kicks in occasionally. Parenthood has been an exercise in letting go. But that's not what I came here to tell y'all about today. What I have to say is completely tasteless and lacks any decency whatsoever. You don't have to tell me if you laugh. Probably best not to admit it to anyone....
In honor of the upcoming holiday travel season, I will share with you my favorite adults-only car game. It needs a name, I think (suggestions, anyone?), but the premise is simple: for any given model of car, place the word "anal" in front. Some of these will be stupid, like mine; I drive a Toyota Sienna, and "Anal Sienna" just sounds dumb.
However, try it with the following from Ford's increasingly ridiculous line of SUVs (not out loud, especially if there are kids nearby that you might have to explain it to, or coworkers who will think you have some sort of sick fixation) : there's the Freestyle, the Escape, the Explorer, the Expedition and the Excursion.
My favorite, I think, is the Nissan Armada-- how terrifying is the idea of an Anal Armada? What the hell is an Anal Armada? The one that made me giggle in the car the other day was the Ascender from Isuzu. Ouch!
If everyone would play this game, Road Rage would be eliminated. How can you possibly take a guy seriously when he drives an Endeavor? He'd cut you off, and you'd roll your eyes knowingly and say, "Of course! He has issues."
How about a Nissan Frontier? Perhaps that person is merely going where no man has gone before (you see how far down the spiral this goes, and oh, how very quickly).
So for merry holiday travels, simply strike up a game of [insert new title here] with your co-pilot (it's fun by yourself too, trust me). I'll have plenty of time to play. Twenty-two hours each way, to be exact. Like I said, you don't have to admit that you find this funny. My feelings won't be hurt. But it can sure change the way you approach the whole driving experience.
I am definitely reconsidering my fondness for the Chrysler Crossfire....
Note from V-Grrrl: I drive an Oldsmobile Intrigue, and until we moved to Europe, E-Man had a Ford Ranger and a classic Ford Maverick. (I never knew about THAT side of him. Oh my.) When my car was in the shop after an accident, my rental was a GM Envoy. Go ahead and laugh, y'all, then tell me what YOU drive.
The Anal Game--once you start, you can't stop-- laughing or playing.
Reader Comments (6)
(Sounds more like a Portuguese name than a car).
:-)
(Response from V-Grrrl: It does sound like a name. Anal Matiz could be Paris Hilton's next fiance.)
But it was worth it :)
Ewwwww.
BWAHAHAHA!!
I figure we can all use a few more laughs these days.
Oh, and I hereby release any and all responsibility for health issues that may arise or be exacerbated as a result of playing this game. If in doubt, please consult a physician prior to engaging in this or any anal game. [snicker]