I love you but....
November 3, 2006 at 1:49 Earlier this week, Shirley sent me an e-mail forward that included notable entries from a Washington Post competition. According the forward, the Post asked readers to submit two-line poems that began with a romantic line but ended with a distinctly non-romantic one.
Before you sample the entries, here’s one I wrote:
Your eyes so sparkly, your hair so red
Is that the sun shining through your head?
Here are some received by The Washington Post:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you really screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
All right y’all, it’s Friday, and I want to see you bust a rhyme. Give me your best!
November 3, 2006
Reader Comments (31)
Would work well in a film by Alfred Hitchcock.
The fear of losing you is deep within my heart,
That's why the court issued that "not within 500-yards part."
All you brought with you were trouble and strife
How I yearn to see your dear face
And spray it with my can of mace
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day...
After such a god-awful roll in the hay?
(Fun post!)
I love your eyes, your arms, and butt,
but the word around town is that you're just a man-slut
Whenever you're here, you're such a fun lover,
I just wish you'd call sometime when you're sober.
Remember that time we made out at the bar?
I was way too drunk and couldn't see very far!
We had so much fun that night in your tent,
but you haven't called so go ahead--GET BENT!
I know you love my corset with all the laces and gromets,
but the way that you grope me inspires me to vomit
I love candles and the way you light the wick,
but turning off the lights won't hide your tiny dick
You said you float like a butterfly and sting like a bee,
I thought you were a boxer, but you meant you had a VD
haha
That's all I've got for now! What a fun post!
Make sure you clean every inch of that tub.
I also want to commend you on your post vis a vis the rolodex. I keep on top of mine, too, and constantly wonder when a friend is no longer a friend. So strange: I kept some of my childhood friends until very recently (and I'm 49, so that's quite a feat) but I have gone through some life changes which have, well, constituted my having a life of my own. I do think that when we get busy with the real business of living, we don't think so much about the past. Out of sight, out of mind may stick in our collective consciousness for more than one reason.
Will your husband be offended? I have no idea. I think reading just one post doesn't always put the blog or the commenters in full context. It's sort of like taking one scene from a movie and judging the whole movie based on it. What made this fun for me was the way people picked up the thread and ran with it. The point of the exercise was to have the second line surprise or shock the reader and we certainly did that!