About the purple nail polish

The heat wave has encouraged me to loiter  shop for a very long time in the only air-conditioned space in my community--the grocery store.

Because even a purchase of two bags of produce and a bottle of milk causes my small European refrigerator to reach capacity, I've had to resort to buying vastly overpriced non-food items to kill time and pay for the store's air conditioning.  Buying light bulbs, cat food, and laundry detergent is a no-brainer and doesn't provides a legitimate reason to indecisively linger in front of displays. This is why  I've devoted myself to the cosmetics aisle, the only place it's socially acceptable to spend an improbably long amount of time debating a purchase. 

This would explain why I bought PURPLE nail polish. Surely no one just waltzes into a store and pulls a bottle of purple polish off the shelf and checks out. Whether or not to buy purple nail polish is a big decision requiring some serious consideration and internal debate.

You can savor a lot of air conditioning while considering the following: Is this the right shade of purple or will it make me look like a cardiac patient needing oxygen? What is the right shade of purple? Will dark purple make me look like a vampire or an artist? Will light purple make me look like an aging sugar plum fairy or a well groomed woman with a whimsical sense of style? Am I too old to wear purple nail polish in the first place?  Do women who dress head to toe in Eddie Bauer clothing have a right to even consider purple nail polish? Am I being bold or am I being stupid?

Well let me just say  I'm both bold and stupid. My son would add "tacky" to the list--his reaction to my color selection.

After I spent 45 minutes or so at home doing my nails and waiting for them to dry, I'd have to agree. This nail polish is way too Miami for me. It almost glows in the dark, a luminous cross between lavender and orchid. Barefoot and overweight, I could pass for Britney Spear's best friend with one glance at my atomic colored nails. What's a woman who lives in earthtones doing with nails like this?  Enquiring minds want to know.

The good news is that because this color is SO WRONG, I have a valid reason to go back to that nice cool store and debate my next nail polish purchase for at least a half hour. See how this works? Yeah. Maybe next time I'll talk myself into a mint green pearl polish and continue my trend of poor choices masquerading as wise choices masquerading as poor  choices. Or something like that.

Has the heat wave driven you to stupid purchases--either online or at the mall? Are you going to bad movies just to get a two-hour reprieve from being hot and sticky? Have you loaded your grocery cart entirely with selections from the popsicle freezer and soft drink aisle?

Do tell. Don't leave me out here looking foolish by myself. And BTW,  do you think I'm too old for baby blue polish?

July 25, 2005

Comments

[Flubberwinkle]

Well, first off if you had my Goth Daughter in your hosehould you'd be the hero of the day. Totally awesome and fashionable in her eyes with purple nail polish (assuming it made you look Tim Burtony-corpse-bride material).
Baby blue polish is more my liking and I say GO FOR IT! (You win both ways from our point of view!)
:-)

Regarding the non-loitering in the air-conditioned supermarkets, this is your chance to be a responsible consumer and read every s-i-n-g-l-e label on your most bought products and do a comparison with other brands. Take a small notebook and pen with you so that the other shoppers are impressed by your thorough researching. This could take hours.. [wink, wink]

[amanda]

i'm vegetarian. my boyfriend is not. i too am trying to survive this heat wave in belgium. i spent an inappropriate long time in the butcher's deciding on americain prepere or vlees salade for my boyfriend. and then to annoy the butcher even more, i only bought 150g. the things we do for a/c.

[Granola-grrrl]

I always just paint my toenails. Mostly because for me, fingernail polish lasts for about 24 hours before chipping and looking horrible. But I have found that toes are much more forgiving, and if it's the wrong color (like that *coolest* orange? The one that made my skin look bluish and way too white? Yeeaaahhh.) I don't really have to see it too often. I've tried plenty, but since I somehow ended up with a drawer full of colors, but only ever used the Revlon shades, I've started simply limiting myself to their color palette (my very favorite is Blackberry, and my new summer shade is Iced Spice). That's not foolproof either-- I once bought a beautiful iridescent turquoise by Revlon that reminded me of a dragonfly. On my toes? Not so much. Pity.

As for the lengths that I would go to in order to escape the heat, I do have to confess that I would rather walk a longer distance through the blazing hot Texas sun to get to a store, if it meant that I could park in a coveted shady spot. I might even cut off an old lady or a troop of Girl Scouts to get one. I *hate* getting into an oven of a car. And the walk isn't so bad, since there's a/c at both ends.

[Joanne]

Many moons ago, the first summer my husband and I lived in Washington, DC -- where locals greet each other with "Hi-how-are-you-it's-not-the-heat-it's-the-humidity" -- we spent most of our non-working/sleeping hours at the mall just to be in air conditioning. In our non-AC'd apartment we shared a twin bed, and my husband is 6'2" and weighed 200 lbs. Now THAT'S being young and in love! And I think it's no wonder we live in Maine now!

[Annie]

Some colors are really best for your toes unless you are 15. At 15 you can wear pretty much any shade fo nail polish. Living in southern California with outdoor malls, and outdoor-pretty-much-verything-else, it's hard to find a place to stay cool. But it's hard to linger in teh grocery store with a 14 month old. Lingering is not his thing. Mostly, I'm just sweating.

[Lisa]

No Ms. V I do not think you are too old for blue, or purple or even black nail polish. This is one of the best things I love about Europe. The women here dress however they feel inclined to and get away with it. If you look up Europe in the dictionary it's synonymous with personal freedom. No exaggeration, today I saw women our age wearing bright silver, baby blue metallic, purple, deep dark red (not a tan in sight), and wearing every article of clothing you could think of and looking fabulous doing it. Viva la Europa! I love it here.

[amber]

Funny post!

Umm, I have to say no to the blue. Just...no. It is bad on everyone, even if they are eleven.

I took my kids to the craft store, because I just had to get out of the house. I thought I could find something for them to do, because they have just been stuck in this house because of the heat... Now I am cleaning up paint, glitter, and play-doe all day long. Blah!

:)

[Jenny]

I've eaten an embarrassingly large amount of ice cream at Marble Slab to keep cool.

They know me by name.

[Arabella]

Since you shared your story with me, I'll confess:

I bought a secondhand bridesmaid's dress that's too large for me, because the store was so pleasant and empty, and I was procrastinating.

My rationale was that I need something with which to hone my new sewing skills, and it was very inexpensive, and one never knows when one will be invited to a wedding. Pathetic, right? Next time, I'm headed to the cosmetics aisle. At least nail polish comes off with the swipe of a cotton ball. The dress is still crumpled at the bottom of my closet.

[Dan]

It's more fun drinking a beer or two in a pub. You can sip that beer for a long time.

[Shirl Grrrl]

I agree with Dan and the pub being more fun. As for purple nail polish, I think anything goes for the toes! I think that's where you can be fun and freaky! I'm more conservative on my finger nails but the toes would for sure get purple and blue! M-Grrrl has on purple polish right now so you're in good company!

[wordgirl]

Blue nail polish. Maybe on your toes.