Brown paper packages tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite things

Recently the mail bought a fat envelope from Low Maintenance Grrrl. The outside was marked “Photos—do not bend” and I fully expected to tear it open and find pictures of my godson, Derek, who is a high school senior. Instead the envelope included an assortment of photos from my family, going all the way back to when I was dating my husband 26 years ago.

In the enclosed note, Low Maintenance Grrrl wrote that knowing how much I missed my own family photos (which are in storage in America), she thought she’d ease my homesickness with snapshots and portraits I’d sent her over the years.

What a fabulous surprise. My kids will be turning 9 and 11 in September, and the photos I’d missed the most were from their baby and toddler years. I was thrilled to once again see a snapshot of my son at a year old, dressed as pumpkin and sitting in a pile of leaves and the one of my daughter wearing a white bonnet and frilly dress on her first Easter. There were the Christmas photos sent out each year, one revealing the super short haircut my 5-year-old boy had given his 3-year-old sister (“I want her to look like me,” he’d said, standing over a pile of her long blonde hair). Then there were photos of me pre-kids, with my 80s hair style, and one taken of me in a black leather miniskirt back in THE DAY. (Proof that I once had a flat stomach!)

The unexpected gift of the photos got me thinking about the wonder and joy of care packages. The only thing better than receiving one is sending one out. There’s a true element of surprise with a care package and the chance for the giver to be creative. Unlike birthday or Christmas gifts where there’s some expectation as to what is appropriate, care packages are all about being thoughtful and just sending something fun.

Life as an expat has lonely moments and there are times when homesickness rolls in like a fog turning the world gray. Those times have been eased by the kindness of friends back in America. More than once Low Maintenance Grrrl has sent surprises my way, including my first scrapbook. Shirl Grrrl, who introduced me to the fun of papercrafts, recently surprised me with a beautifully decorated journal that she made. When I was completely stressed out preparing to come to Belgium, Lynn sent me chocolate chip cookies she’d baked with her kids, and when she visited in July, among the items she brought for us was a 10 pound bag of our favorite pancake mix, a regional specialty from Virginia. Last winter, Granola Grrrl surprised me with an oversized teacup and saucer, and my former neighbors sent me tea and my kids candy for Halloween.

On my first birthday here in Belgium, my friends gathered for a party in my honor, videotaped it and included a DVD in the enormous box of gifts they assembled for me. It may have been my best birthday ever. And then there was JMo, someone I’ve never met, who had bagels FedExed to me from New York after reading about how much I missed them. Sitting here remembering all these not-so-random acts of kindness puts a smile on my face and reminds me how blessed I am to have such warm-hearted, generous people in my life.

I’ve sent packages to friends going through rough spots in their marriage, those that are overwhelmed at work and finding it hard to carve out any time to recharge and recover, college students far from home, new moms who are often neglected when all attention shifts to the baby, and friends that just hit a low spot or need a boost. Everything from yoga tapes and candles to books, CDs, chocolates, lotions, cosmetics, potpourri, and gourmet foods have found their way into the packages I’ve mailed.

Tucking items into a box, taping it shut, and sending it on its way is a singularly satisfying act. I can just imagine the recipient’s face when they discover a package in the mail and have no idea what could be inside that box or why it’s shown up at their door. It’s better than Christmas—friendship is a gift we can celebrate and give all year round.

August 31, 2006

© 2006 Veronica McCabe Deschambault. All rights reserved.

Comments

[Shirley]

You are soooo right! Care packages are the best, and like you said, either receiving or sending can be wonderful. I just sent our first care package to our son who is away at college for his freshman year. He's only been gone a week and a half, but it seems like so much longer. It's not bad without him in the house. It's just different. It seems VERY quiet. Anyway, he needed his graphing calculator and I took the oppportunity to load the box with little items I'd thought of that he'd need plus tons of treats that he and his roommate would appreciate. I really think I love sending care packages more than I love receiving them, just from the joy I get from the process of selecting the items and making a fun package. I always send care packages at Halloween to the college students in our family. Many times they have told me they arrived when they had a really bad day and needed a lift--that really makes my day knowing they worked their magic. And, for me, it is the very best treat to go to the candy store and pick out the different flavors of Jelly Bellys I know they'll love, selecting the seasonal treats such as candy corn, finding something they might not have tried like chocolate-covered potato chips, remembering the kids that like salty goodies better than sweet stuff, and so on. I truly become the kid in the candy store, delighting in every moment. Then I do the packaging with special cards and messages. Just so much fun. You are right about the element of surprise being there (when it's not for most other gifts), which really makes the whole venture delightful.

You've captured all those special moments when you've received care packages and I know your friends who sent those care packages will be especially touched that you still remember their special gifts. What a wonderful gift you just received from Low Maintenance Grrrl!! That package ones again proves the importance of documenting our histories (your subject yesterday) ... we can only remember so much without prompts and it is the combination of our memory with a photo that really takes us back to the moment.

Belated happy blogiversary (not sure if that's the exact term you used)!!

[Shirl Grrrl]

Great idea, LM Grrrl! Wish I had thought of it! ;-)

[Angela]

What a great friend she is to you. You are spot on about care packages. When I was in college, lots of the kids would get them around finals time, packed with snacks and little fun things from home. I hinted to my mom several times, but never got one...poor me. :-(

[Arabella]

That is the greatest care package I've ever heard of! How wonderful to get pictures of the past!

[Jenny]

What a wonder present!

It's things like this that renew my faith in people. Thanks for sharing!

[Lynn]

Low Maintenance Grrrl is the best!! What a really thoughtful, unselfish gift!

[mamatulip]

That is just awesome. How wonderful of your friend, who knew that you longed for your family photos so much. This post makes me appreciate the pictures I have of my kids -- so easily at my disposal -- and how much I'd miss them if I didn't have them close by.

I'm so happy that you have some snapshots to take you back in time. They're like books, pictures -- they're like gifts that keep on giving. :)

[Brooke]

Awwwww...that's so sweet. I remember the loneliness of the expat very well. A package, or card, or letter just made my day. Remember that you have such kind friends because you ARE such a kind friend!

[Mary]

(sigh, sigh again) I used to be so great about stuff like that, cards, special little gifts. Reading this makes me sad that for a long time now I haven't had the energy to be creative that way for my friends.

You've inspired me to put care packages back on my "to do" list!

[Nancy]

You are right -- care packages are magical. I think presents on special occasions (Christmas, birthday, anniversary) are expected, but something about that box showing up unannounced and unexpected is so thrilling. I think you've inspired me to get a couple of little surprise packages together.