Hair
January 3, 2007 at 10:55 ; "img_7825.jpg | Click to view in new window.")
photo by Di Mackey
Growing up in the 70s, I longed to have a long dark shimmering sheet of hair like Cher, Katharine Ross, or Ali McGraw. My mother had my naturally curly auburn hair cut short with wonky little girl bangs. My mother’s friends and my older relatives all admired my hair, and my mom would reply with barely concealed pride, “The more you cut it, the more it curls.”
But I didn’t like having short, curly hair. I envied my straight-haired friends with their colored hair clips and pearly plastic ponytail beads and sleek head bands. My hair could not be accessorized! It wasn't in style, and I felt plagued by its unpredictable curves and angles. When I was about 12, I started growing my hair out, determined to part it in the middle and have it cover my back with awesome, silky sleekness. To expedite the process, I rarely, if ever had my hair cut.
The weight of my long thick hair relaxed the curls into waves. I was clueless about styling products and tools and had no idea how to manage my hair. One of my big mistakes was blow-drying and brushing it, which is a big no-no for curly girls. The brushing combined with Virginia’s humidity meant that more often than not I looked more like Gilda Radner’s SNL character Rosanne Rosanna Rosannadanna than Cher, but at least my hair was long, which was the measuring stick of success in my teens.
When I was 20, I had my first professional hair cut and never had waist-length hair again. I experimented with a lot of styles, and looking back I have to say my long hair days were not my best. Eventually I learned how to work with my curls, not against them, and even started to occasionally use mousse or gel to calm the frizz and define its shape though my dislike of styling products lingers to this day.
My early love affair with long, straight hair and my reluctance to get my hair cut all came back to me this week because E-Grrrl has become obsessed with the length of her hair. She has baby fine, bone-straight silky blonde hair that we’ve always kept cut between chin and shoulder length. At that length, it has a beautiful shape and a sharp, neat edge that swings when she moves. Longer than that, and the ends start breaking, the volume disappears, and her hair becomes limp and lank, which is where we’ve been lately.
E-Grrrl seldom gets the brush all the way through her hair and it has a tendency to look unkempt and stringy. In the last few weeks, I’ve been telling her over and over that she’s overdue for a haircut but she’s been side-stepping the issue. Lately her hair has been so flat and listless that even her father has been nagging her to do something with it.
So today we ganged up on her and got her to the hairdresser’s. She only wanted a teeny, tiny trim, though I managed to convince her to go for at least an inch off. The stylist gave her hair a nice sharp edge, but even as I watched him work, I knew E-Grrrl remained unconvinced it was a huge improvement. Her mind is set on super long, straight hair and she resented every snippet that hit the floor. Just as my mother couldn’t get me to appreciate my curls when I was 9, I’m powerless to persuade my daughter that her baby fine tresses look best cut above her shoulders. What goes around, comes around.
Reader Comments (21)
Yet, I too, am fighting the hair wars with both of my girls. One has the perfect hair - straight, medium blonde, and medium thick. If only she would stop pulling it into a messy, low pony with the almost long enough bangs falling out of the pony.
My other princess has fine, honey blonde, wavy hair that curls in a halo around her face. She looks so cute with it up, yet we fight daily about getting it brushed and how to wear it.
Ah, the battles have just begun.
But, remember the 80s and those horrible processed perms? Your hair was probably the envy of all those permy girls who looked fried and crinkled. Yours, so soft and beautiful and natural and not a stiff, gelly mass. (Like mine was then! LOL!!!)
Your hair is gorgeous, V. And it's nice to finally "meet you." So brave.
I betcha Cher secretly wished for hair like yours.
I so envy your curls, and your color..Beautiful!!
I remember when yours was long, and when you went running, you kept it contained in loooong ponytails, with hair elastics every couple inches all the way down. That was fascinating to me, for some reason. Maybe because it was sort of like braids, but not really. Or maybe it was because I was like, 6, and easily fascinated. It's still beautiful, though :)
Love the photo!
A few observations about hair:
1. I feel blessed to have straight hair - it is harder to uncurl curly hair than to get a perm.
2. My daughter's hair is very different from mine - it is very thick (like mine) but also rather curly, especially when the weather is humid. She can straighten it very successfully with a flattening iron, but it's a fairly lengthy process.
3. There is something that I find highly bothersome in grown-up women who keep their hair beyond shoulder-length. But I guess it's just one of my weird idiosyncrasies. My own hair has never been any longer than about shoulder length.
And my Mimi has the same kind of hair as E-Grrrl -- fine, straight, blonde. She resists cutting it too and often wishes for dark hair, "like Belle." Sigh.
Julia's got naturally curly hair -- from who I don't know -- and it's beautiful. I'll admit it: I'm jealous of my daughter's hair.
I love your curls, and the mental image I got when you mentioned Rosanne Rosannadanna was PRICELESS.
Anyway,empathizing with your daughter enables you to see that we ALL wanted the kind of hair that we DIDN'T have...