Sigh

The day started so well.

I put a change of clothes in a duffle bag, a selection of books and magazines for my favorite Wee Curly Grrrl, and something for Di. I added my pajamas, slipper sox, and my favorite perfume. A mini bag of toiletries and a surprisingly heavy bag of makeup. I counted out my pills like a pharmacist and checked and double-checked them like old grrrls do.

I slipped a guide to Amsterdam into the bag and a Dutch dictionary into my purse. I made sure my bus, Metro, and train passes were easily accessible. I zipped my money and IDs into the inside pocket of my ski jacket. I wrote down contact info for E and taped it to the refrigerator door. I pulled the children’s IDs out of my wallet and set them aside for E. I made sure I had lip gloss, reading glasses, and my charged iPod and cell phone. The train schedule. Di’s phone number.

I tucked the camera into my duffle, along with a few granola bars and struggled to zip it shut. I secured Petey in the master bedroom and was all ready to set the alarm and step out the door to catch my bus to the Metro station when the phone rang.

If I answer it, I might miss my bus, and the bus I need only comes once an hour. But I answer it anyway. Happiness at hearing Di’s voice is tempered with a sad tale of sickness. Jessie, her 21 year old daughter, was up all night coughing. And Gert, her lovely husband, was sick over the weekend and should be getting better but may be getting worse instead. The terrible truth is that the inhabitants of Kiwi Villa in Antwerp have been colonized by the evil flu. There will be no three day grrrl getaway for Jessie, Di, and me after all.

No photo viewing and ordering, bookshop browsing, or Mexican lunch. No catching the early train to Amsterdam on Tuesday, visiting the Anne Frank house, taking a canal boat tour, and exploring the city. No late nights, no wine, no talk of writing, creativity, life, and family. No mocking. No laughter. No secrets.

I look at the overstuffed duffle bag by the door and see it is stuffed with disappointment, not anticipation now.

I touch the wad of euros in my pocket and realize I’ll be spending them at the grocery store, not at the train station, not in Amsterdam.

The wind picks up and wails. The day gets a little colder, a little darker.

December 3, 2007

Comments

[Manictastic]

I've heard. Poor you and Di and Jesse. But don't worry, Amsterdam will last another week. Normally!

Oh bugger, it's raining and thundering like hell here :( There's bad weather headed your way, V.

[Peter]

Like most of us, I can relate to your unpleasant experience Veronica. Especially at a time of year when the days are dark, a trip with a soul mate can be a such a heart warming experience.

I hope the folks over in Antwerp had their flu shots and will be recovering from their viral infection soon. Obviously, that won't change your feeling of disappointment.

[Nance]

Getawayus interruptus.

Crap.

[Shirl Grrrl]

I'm so bummed for you. I can just feel your disappointment and I'm sure Di was just as bummed. Bummer-bummer-bummer... Reschedule, re-anticipate and the journey will be even sweeter.

I've never heard of the movie but seeing as it's called Shirley Valentine then I think I must see it.

Hugs to you and yours!

[Claudia]

“Disappointments are to the soul what the thunder-storm is to the air”.

~ Friedrich von Schiller

<< hearty hugs from Cape Cod >>

I know how you feel - I'd be that disappointed too. But at this point, I would probably STILL get on the train and find myself somewhere else to go - just to go. :)

Smile. You're loved.

[impy]

emits fits of evil giggling,,,,,,,,,,,,Now I have you alllllll to myself!!!!!!! Which is entirely selfish, but well,,,,,,I loved Amsterdam. You will wiggle your toes into it, like cool sand on a hot day, I just know it.

[platypus]

I'm so sorry you didn't get to go on your trip. I hope you manage to reschedule soon, though.

[Expat-CIT]

I'm with Shirley - total bummer! It's like going against inertia when you're the mom trying to get out of the house for the weekend, anyway. I feel like I'm organizing some sort of major event when I attempt to to this even for one night! More effort than anyone but another mother could ever understand. Here's hoping you get a "do-over".

[Amber]

Aww, I'm sorry! That is sucktastic.

Is it too late to catch a plane to California? ;)

:)

[wendy]

such a bummer.

sorry.

[liebowitz]

I'm SO SO sorry. I'm just like a jilted little kid when I encounter that kind of disappointment. I can just sense it in you too. Hope the day turned sunny for you...if not literally...then figuratively.

The artist formerly known as WG

[Kelby]

I am so sorry for your disappointment. After all of that preparation and forward looking, I'm afraid I would have felt obligated to throw a good old-fashioned pity party for myself that would have involved hubby shopping for something that would return the sparkle to my eyes. I'm a bit spoiled in that way. lol But for whatever it's worth, your disappointment bore great writing fruit. This is so good that I feel bummed out as though it happened to me! :) You are wicked talented. There are a dozens of best seller books roaming around inside of your heart and head. I'm practicing my "I told you so's". :)

[Shirl Grrrl]

Kelby, I've been telling V this for years! I've perfected my "I told you sos" and am now working on the "I knew her when's..." :-D The time is coming as I think her first book will now include all this awesome art work and maybe that had to happen first. She will not only wow the literary circles but the art circles as well!

[littlepurplecow]

Oh bummer. Skip the grocery store and go buy yourself some fabulously comfy pajamas, a new book and a (too-expensive) bottle of wine.

[V-Grrrl]

Y'all rock my socks off, even on a day when I'm scrubbing toilets and cleaning sinks.

I think MY claim to fame is going to be that I have the best friends and most loyal readers in the blogosphere. I sometimes think I could write a book composed of some of y'all's comments and e-mails...

[Di]

Devastated, devastated, simply devastated ... and I know it's because I looked forward to it too much ...

Still, it's there in the near future and maybe it'll be better for waiting ... or some such thing.

Dramatic sigh!

[Peter]

V, you actually have the best friends and most loyal readers in the blogosphere. The sense of community over here is just awesome.

And that's why we keep coming back for more.

[J]

Crap. That happened to us once, on the morning of the day we were supposed to fly to Oregon on vacation. Poor daughter cried a bit, but was happy at the balloon bouquet that my dad sent to console her. And when we finally did go, a month or two later, they threw a surprise birthday party for her. My way of saying, you'll go...it will be great. Hope the dissapointment doesn't last too long. Sorry for the change in plans. Sigh.

[Shirley]

Anticipated girlfriend time and the excitement of a trip can keep one going for a long time, but then to have it fall apart at the last minute … definitely a BIG bummer. That kind of disappointment for me would require one or more of the following: chocolate, ice cream, alcohol, lounging clothes, and sappy movies. However, I still like Di’s positive thinking, too. Once you get past the disappointment, you start planning for the next opportunity. Make even bigger plans next time around!