Conversation with my keyboard

V-Grrrl: So Keyboard, what are we going to write about today? I owe Expatica a blog entry on life in Belgium, and I think my Muse is vacationing in Spain.

Keyboard: Oh Spain. Wouldn’t it be great to be THERE right now. The food, the architecture, the Mediterranean, the SUN. Give it to me!

V-Grrrl: I wish I could. This time of year in Belgium it seems the wind just sweeps in one howling squall after another.

Keyboard: No wonder your Muse went to Spain. Belgium’s tourism slogan should be: Gray skies. Green grass. Horizontal rain.

V-Grrrl: Oh sure, Keyboard, people would come in droves to experience THAT. I can see the tourists sending postcards home. A photo of Manneken Pis on the front and on the back a single line: “I came here for the beer and chocolate but all I got was wet!”

Keyboard: No, no, no—I’ve got a better one! “I came here for the beer and chocolate and all I got was pissed!”

V-Grrrl: Ha, ha ha! How about “I came here for the beer and chocolate and all I got was FAT!”

Keyboard: Um, V, that’s not funny.

V-Grrrl: Sigh. You’re right. It’s not funny. It’s TRUE! Sheesh, the expat fat is depressing me.

Keyboard: Yeah, and it’s really DEPRESSING the desk chair. I’m glad I get to sit ON your lap and not UNDER it.

V-Grrrl: That’s quite enough, Keyboard! You’re hurting my feelings.

Keyboard: And you’re hurting the chair! Ha, ha, ha. OK, OK, OK, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Have a piece of chocolate. You’ll feel better.

March 6, 2007

© 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl. All rights reserved.

Comments

[christina]

This is going to keep me smiling quietly to myself all day. :-)

[Tera]

My chair is hurting too...I like your keyboards idea about getting pissed...and definitely not out in that stinkin'rain!
Oh, the sun'll come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...uhm, maybe not...

[RD]

With all due respect, your keyboard needs an attitude adjustment. Such insensitive comments are not to be tolerated. It's pushing your buttons when you should be pushing its! (Seems to me your keyboard and neilochka's penis have been spending some time together fine-tuning their crotchety dispositions.)

[furiousBall]

My mouse and keyboard were whispering when I walked into the office and then they got real quiet...should I be worried?

[V-Grrrl]

furiousBall,

They're talking about the size of your package--or maybe the results of that big Mexican dinner. Electronics are so RUDE.

[Di]

I hear ya ...

I've moved on over to red wine, rationalising that liquid's not fattening ... sssh!

[V-Grrrl]

Di,

You're completely correct. Alcohol evaporates--and the calories disappear into thin air!

[Nance]

If you stand up while eating the chocolate, it acts as negative calorie food. Doesn't it?

[wordgirl]

Your keyboard is SO chatty! I'm surprised you can get anything done at all what with all the distractions and talk of vacation.

[Annie]

I really think you could sell tee shirts with "I came here for the beer and chocolate and all I got was pissed" emblazoned upon them. I'd buy one if I ever make it to Belgium. Maybe you could earn enough money to join your muse in Spain.

[Amber]

You are funny. Made me laugh, even through my headache.

:)

[Unrepentant Gallivanter]

Well, it is raining here in Naples, too. I switched to red wine when we got here. I can get a bottle at the butcher ACROSS the street for about 1.30 euro!