I prefer to do it with the lights on

Amber recently blogged about things that comfort her, and on her list was taking showers in the dark. A number of commenters chimed in and said, oh yeah, showering in the dark is SO RELAXING, and so on Friday night I thought I'd  treat myself to a hot shower sans light and join the cozy club over at Chez Amber's.

I put on the bathroom heater, hang a fresh fluffy towel next to the shower, set my robe and Ugg slippers in place, make sure the floor is cleared of obstacles, and then cut off the lights and cut on the water.

I tip my head back into the hot water, and reach for the shampoo. Hmmm, exactly where is that located. Oh here's a bottle--is this the Pantene dandruff shampoo or the Pantene extra volume for fine hair? I guess it doesn't matter. I lather up and rinse, and frankly, I'm not finding the whole "shower-in-the-dark" experience to be exceptional. I inhale, exhale, wait for a big rush of happiness. It doesn't come.

I grab the the slender remnant of my favorite L'Occitane bath soap, and it slips out of my grasp and falls. Damn. Gotta find it. Of course, I can't see a thing in the dark,  but I'm in a shower stall--how hard can it be to locate the soap? I bend down, the water battering my head and neck, and make a casual sweep with one hand and can't find it. That in itself  is a little freaky.

I put my hand on the drain--and think ewwww, how gross--but the soap isn't stuck there.  WTH. Where is it?

Now I'm a woman on a mission--Must. Find. The. Soap. I start running my hands carefully over the shower bottom, and  I can feel soap scum and calc buildup all around the edges.  When was the last time I cleaned this? YUCK!

I give up on the soap. I can't wait to get out of the shower and wash my hands at the sink because I'm so revolted by my contact with the drain and the shower floor. Bleah!

When I hit the lights, I spot the soap stuck on the narrow lip between the shower wall and shower bottom. How is it balancing there? GAH! 

Now that I'm all grossed out by my shower stall, I can't go to bed and leave it in its scurvy state. No, I have to clean it NOW. It's eleven o'clock and out comes the  Lysol, the Soft Scrub, and the grout brush. Scrub, scrub, scrub. Rinse, rinse, rinse. Scrub some more.

I go to bed with my hands smelling like bleach instead of Lancome perfume. Sigh. So much for shower nirvana.

So to all the members of Amber's hip shower-in-the-dark group, all I can say is there are things I love to do in the dark to relax, but showering isn't one of them.

October 14, 2006

Copyright 2006 Veronica McCabe Deschambault. All rights reserved.  www.v-grrrl.com 

Comments

[Mary]

What a riot! I understand a bath in a darkened room with candles lit or something but I'm with you on the shower thing V-Grrl!

[Flubberwinkle]

In the d, d, da, da, dark at ni, ni,night? Why? There are things in that go bump in the night.....

[Char]

Too funny! Thanks for reminding me that my shower needs to be cleaned today!

[lux lisbon]

i had to shower once during a blackout. it was the creepiest feeling i have ever had. i kept waiting for jason, freddie or norman bates to pull back my shower curtain and stab me to death. kinda killed the whole thing for me.

[V-Grrrl]

I'm just glad I wasn't thinking about Jason, Norman, or Freddie when I couldn't find the soap. I might have screamed if I thought the reason it was MIA was that someone had caught it when it hit the floor!

[Nance]

v--what a hilarious post. count me in on the uncool group with you. to me, showers are for the quick, utilitarian scrub, like when i'm all sweaty after yardwork or when one of the boys used to throw up all over me. for leisure and luxury, i'm a bathtub grrrl. i put on the deepfill plug, run the water as hot as i can stand it, dim the lights (yes, my man installed a dimmer switch in the bathroom just for me!), use luscious bubble bath or a custom herb sachet, maybe light a candle, put a cd on the special waterproof cd player hanging next to the tub, and lie in there for at least an hour. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. heaven. shower in the dark? hey, standing up is not relaxing.

[V-Grrrl]

In the U.S, I had a Jacuzzi and used it every night.I had serious bathing rituals and my bathroom was a sacred space. Now I share a shower stall with my whole family. This house has two tubs but not enough hot water to fill them. Gotta love European energy efficiency and plumbing.

[Shirley]

I can't imagine showering in the dark and I don't like taking a shower at night even ... first thing in the morning for me and I am in for the utilitarian scrub too and even in daylight (or early morn with the lights on), I drop the soap, knock my razor in the floor, drop the washcloth ... so I'd be in big trouble in the dark. And I am always spotting shower scum or mildewy spots and doing a partial tub scrub right then while I am in the shower. Now showering by candlelight might be a little bit better ... if you dropped the soap, you could still find it readily and you'd be unlikely to encounter the scum in the process. It might work ...

[amber]

LMAO! You are too funny! I shoul dhave told you to make sure all your shampoo's and stuff are where you want them. Sorry. Also,(you might find this to be tmi, an da little bit strange) I like to sit down when I shower like that. Sit and let the water hit my back. I have always done this. LOL!

Try one of my other ideas! Listen to Hay House, maybe.

oxox :)