Shipping back my expat fat

OK—it’s official. My expat fat’s one-year visa expired on March 21. It’s time for the pounds to kiss my ass goodbye. Now that I have been here one year, I’m evicting all my excuses.

The other day I went by the mirror in our foyer and was sobered by my reflection. Baggy sweatpants, slightly high water, revealing white socks and big clunky Nikes, stretched out turtleneck covered by a floppy charcoal gray zip front cardigan sweaters. OMG, since when did I start embracing the “Mr. Rogers in a Nursing Home” look? All I needed was a walker to complete my sad, saggy ensemble.

My descent into ever uglier daytime attire has been fueled by the ascent of inches around the waist and hips. My cute sweaters did not look cute while gripping my gut. My jeans and chinos have been clenching an area far more personal. Every time I pull them over my hips I feel like I’ve just had an encounter with Chester the Molester. To avoid the degradation of my uncomfortable moments with Chester, I gradually became an all sweatpants all the time kind of gal.  Sheesh.  Not pretty!

So to escape both Chester the Molester and Sweatpant Syndrome,  I bought two “healthy weight loss” cookbooks and two magazines with the same theme. Yeah, I already know how to cook light, cook healthy, and lose weight. Five years ago I lost 15 pounds and kept it off until we moved here. Weight loss isn’t rocket science—it’s just hard work.As such, it's easy to procrastinate getting started. Spending the money on the books and magazines represents a commitment to JUST DO IT. The new recipes with nutrition information should inspire me to change my evil ways and keep track of what I eat. I’ve been doing pretty well with aerobic exercise but need to add weight training to the mix.

No, I’m not bold enough to post my starting weight here but I will tell you my goals:

• I want every pair of pants and every straight skirt in my closet to fit again. No more muffin tops! Goodbye Chester!
• I want to be able to wear my more fitted sweaters and short sleeve shirts without feeling like a random fug.
• I don’t expect to be “skinny” or “buff”—just healthy and trimmer.
• For all this to happen, I probably will need to lose 10-15 pounds and at least one to two inches off my hips and waist.

There now, I’ve put it in writing. This is my contract with myself. You all are my witnesses and virtual support group. Anyone that wants me to join me can send an e-mail or post a comment and we’ll encourage each other. I’ll provide a progress report once a week on Tuesdays until Memorial Day.

Anybody with me?

March 28, 2006

Comments

[Shirl Grrrl]

Please don't ship it to me!!!!

[V-Grrrl]

I'm going to ship it to Rock Grrrl. She could use a little extra.

[Ellie]

Those that are not with me are against me...

Pass the potato chips!

[Arabella]

Count me in! My plan for the week is yogurt and strawberries for breakfast and salads with chicken or fish for lunch. And nuts and protein bars for snacks. Props to you for doing this while living in the Land of Chocolate.

[#1 Dancer]

Good luck to you!! I joined a gym when we moved here (I regularly work out 3x a week) and had my measurements taken. That was November. Just after the new year, I upped my workouts to 5 times a week, added 48oz. of water to my daily diet, and tried to avoid carbs. I just had them taken again (early March) and they were ALL exactly the same, EXCEPT that I had gained 4 pounds. The trainer tried to convince me that I had gained muscle mass. Hmm... Anyway, I am with you!! We're going to Belize May 14th and I now have a serious goal to work towards. I would like to lose 5-10 lbs and slim down my tummy.
Could we all possibly share recipe and diet ideas? That is motivating!! Arabella, you are motivating me to get back to yogurt (instead of instant waffles) for breakfast. LET'S DO THIS!

[Shirley]

I have just committed to the healthy eating and exercise plan myself ... right after I signed up for the Susan Komen 3-day 60-miles breast cancer walk! OMG My mom just finished breast cancer treatment and our cousin is 6 months into 15 months of treatment, so I figured it's a phenomenal cause, a small effort on my part in comparison, and my body can only get better with the challenge. Let's do it girls! I agree with the kudos on embarking on this mission while in the land of chocolate! However, I also understand the need to feel better about one's self. For me the secret to healthy eating is eliminating the sugar ... the rest follows and the pounds drop off. Been there done that ... just need to do it again. Good luck to all!

[Mega Mom]

My "fashion sense" consists of wearing cute short sleeve t-shirts over long sleeve t-shirts. Didn't that go out with Jennifer Aniston?

Alas the muffin top. It shall be with me for a while longer I fear....

[Annie]

Muffin tops!! What a perfect visual. Actually, I have the visual around my middle, but the nickname was lacking.

I had a baby last May and am still carrying around about 13 pounds of pregnancy weight. I was also about 20 pounds in the hole when I got pregnant. Did I mention I had knee surgery 6 weeks ago? Who's that guy who was consigned to push a rock uphill in hell?

I'm hoping to get back into an exercise routine as my knee heals. I need to be better with the water. But, as you say, much easier to procrastinate. I'm not buying any more cookies for my house. Does that count as progress?

[TB]

Oh V-grrrl. I've been debating doing this very thing. You described it to a T. It's a little bit scary, in fact.

I promise to be you cheerleader in this endeavor and may I also wish you the happiest of one year anniversaries. You made it throught the most difficult part.

[Melanhead]

I vouch for carb-reduction. You might find this interesting, but I found out that carbs might provoke scoliosis-related pain. That neck pain I was feeling for a couple of months has dwindled to nothing since taking out pasta, rice, cereal and scones. Then one morning I had a cranberry orange scone from Starbucks and BAM Neck pain that afternoon. Coincidence? Who knows.

Also, increasing your water intake can help out ALOT. Flush out all those toxins.

[Shannon]

I've actually told myself that the calcium in the tap water (not the chocolate in my hands) must actually shrink my pants! How's that for sad ?
That reminds me, I need more anti-kalc for the washer.

[Dan]

Just eat more fresh fruits and raw vegetables especially for lunch or for an other main meal of the day. You will find that you will be eating less.

Also exercise a little.

[ChiJo]

Welcome to my world. The CPA man in my life has a class reunion motivating him to drop a few lbs. or should that be kilos? I, on the other hand, have a closet full of too tight pants that are about to be retired due to climate change and shorts frighten me. My calendar is screaming "NOW is the time!" I just enrolled in a pilates class (2x a week) and have recruted a neighbor for regular walks. Wish me luck ....my muscles won't know what hit them. :)