Moving on

It’s the middle of May and in expat circles that means one thing—moving. Many of the people we’ve come to know in Brussels are preparing for new assignments.

For some families, this means a return to the U.S. Many military families I’ve met end up in Virginia, close to Washington, D.C., and not too far from my former home. One family is leaving cool, gray, rainy Belgium for the blistering hot, dry desert of Arizona. Talk about meteorological whiplash! That’s almost as bad as the family that moved here after living in Hawaii for several years.

Some folks are waiting to hear if they’ll be moving to another part of Belgium or to The Netherlands or to a more exotic locale like India. Others are off-loading belongings left and right to prepare for a stint in a small house in Japan. A number of State Department employees are heading to posts in the Stans—you know places like Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan. (Don’t feel bad if you need to consult a globe to pinpoint locations. I had to do the same thing.)

Unlike me, these military and diplomatic families have moved over and over again. They’re accustomed to packing up, moving on, and starting over, usually in places chosen for them, not by them. The U.S. government smoothes the transition, normally providing schools, support, and recreation services, but moving is moving.

I admire military and diplomatic families’ resilience, openness to change, and willingness to let go of expectations and forge ahead. They travel light in every sense of the word—decluttering their lives of excess emotional and physical baggage. They’re experts at leaving the past behind and picking up their life in another community, in another country, in another part of the world.

My own experience as an expat in Brussels has been so different. Saying goodbye is not a way of life for me. I had lived in my community in Virginia for 15 years. Moving to Belgium was a radical choice for our family, but one I don’t regret. I was in a rut in the U.S.—a nice rut, but a rut nonetheless. Moving physically and psychologically outside my comfort zone has been good for me. Yet, since I re-located here more than a year ago, I’ve felt as if my life is suspended between two places and multiple points of view. I’m no longer rooted in one place, and that’s both liberating and uncomfortable.

Moving overseas has made me realize I’m far more adaptable than I thought was. I have more confidence and know that I can find happiness in a variety of places and settings. Living abroad has also highlighted all that I love and miss in America—as well as all that I’ve been glad to leave behind. In short, being an expat has given me some objectivity and a birds’ eye view of my life. Whether flying into the wind or gliding on an easy current, one thing I’m sure of: I can land almost anywhere.

© 2006 Veronica McCabe Deschambault. All rights reserved.

May 18, 2006

Comments

[Debbie]

For me, moving took years off my life each and every time. I am not meant to uproot and recover. Some people do it and act like they love it but not me.

Will you be moving?

[V-Grrrl]

We're not scheduled to move until June 2008. We have the option of extending our time here. So we debate whether to stay or to leave, whether to return to our old home or move somewhere else. Lots of uncertainty--but for now,we're happy.

[Shirl Grrrl]

As an Air Force brat, I HATED moving! I was very shy and each move was very painful. Until we landed in Virginia and each of us knew that some how we had come "home" even though home technically was North Carolina. My moves since then have been painless as each and every time, it WAS time... the right time. Hopefully we are here to stay for a good while where we are now, but the final move will be back to Virginia, completing the full circle of my life.

[Flubberwinkle]

I have great admiration for people who can move around and adapt. I'm not sure if I'd be able to do it with a family. I get upset when a hotel aks us to change rooms or we switch accomodations during our vacation. I wasn't always like this. I guess I'm settled in my ways and moving to a new country sounds like an adventure of a lifetime now.

[TB]

As a military brat who has grown up with a certain degree of instilled wanderlust, I know exactly what you mean. I have a hard time relating to people who have only lived in one place their entire lives. It's hard for me to imagine!

[mama_tulip]

I, too, admire people that can easily adapt. I'm not one of those people. I moved a lot when I was a teenager and college student but since been married and have amassed "things" -- more than rock posters and cassette tapes -- I've only moved once, and it nearly killed me. I'm a homebody...I like to stay put.

[Mignon]

This post reminds me so much of my sister-in-law. She grew up in So.Cal. and spent her whole life there until she moved to Portland to marry my brother in her late 20's. She grumbled about Portland all the time, but grudgingly came to endure it. And then my brother's work took them to Shanghai. She's changed so much in the last two years, being completely removed from everything familiar. It's as if Portland just wasn't far enough away. I respect her for making that move and forcing herself to adapt, just as I respect you for taking that giant leap of faith. I think the more often you leave your comfort zone, the larger your zone becomes.

[V-Grrrl]

"The more often you leave your comfort zone, the larger that zone becomes."

Well said Mignon!