Cranky because...
January 15, 2007 at 14:47 ...the very first week the kids are back to school after a two and a half week Christmas break, they have a three day weekend! In the last month, they've gone to school for maybe five days, and my son was home sick two days last week. I am tired of nonstop eating, nonstop cleanup, and nonstop “Can so-and-so come over?” I made them go to bed at 8 p.m. tonight. Give. Me. Some. Space.
...I need a pair of black dress pants. The ones I have don’t fit anymore (grrrr!), and the ones I tried on on Saturday were too big in one size and too small in the next size down. Skinny, trim, or chunky—whatever shape I am, I am ALWAYS between standard sizes.
Did I mention how hard it was to face my reflection in the dressing room with the fluorescent lighting turning my skin a ghastly blue color and casting deep purple, cadaver shadows under my eyes? If I’m going to have to view myself as a Zombie Woman or some horrid Pod Creature, I should have at least been rewarded with a pair of nice trousers that fit. But nooooooooo. Instead the pants are sloppy around my waist and make my ass look like an overstuffed piece of carry-on luggage. Whose idea was it to put those FLAPS on the rear pockets? Some skinny bitch designer--that's who!
...I chatted online with a customer service rep for Lands End, certain they would come through for me with a pair of black pants. I'm such a little fool! There was ONE pair of dress pants available in any style in my size—and they were navy. I don’t do navy, even when I’m desperate. Apparently Lands End is “between seasons” so the new line of pants isn’t available yet and the old line is picked over. Bottom line (pun intended): there are no pants left. I am forever V-Grrrl in the Middle—STUCK between sizes and now between seasons. But I have other reasons to be cranky, because...
...there was an art debacle at Chez V today, the second one in six weeks involving newly purchased artwork. I bought my husband framed prints by a Belgian artist for Christmas. We hadn’t hung them yet, and they were propped against the sofa in the living room this morning because I was cleaning the spot where they had been laying flat. My son and his friend were playing and knocked them down to the CERAMIC TILE floor and broke one frame in two and dinged the other. I was SO PISSED.
...this is the same son who was told to stay in the car while I quickly walked his sister into a building for an extracurricular activity this afternoon. Did he stay in the car? NO. I caught him inside the building at a snack shop buying two big packs of candy. Did I mention he bought and ate an entire box of Girl Scout cookies on Saturday plus two regular size packages of other candy? And that he bought more sweets on Sunday at a bake sale? And that I just had to order him HUSKY SIZED pants for the first time EVER? I don’t forbid him sweets, but his consumption of them is out of control. Between the binge eating and sitting on his butt with his Game Boy, he’s going to turn into a mental and physical BLOB.
And then he’ll be just like me.
GAH!
See, I told y’all I was cranky.
January 15, 2007
Copyright 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl in the Middle. All rights reserved. www.v-grrrl.com
Reader Comments (13)
Here's a happy thought: Let's make skinny designer bitch voodoo dolls and force feed them cookies and ice-cream until they become CHUNKIEST!
So finally, after yelling, threatening and attempted bribing, I took a moment and identified my issues. Looking around my house (which just yesterday was peacefully clean while they were at their dad's) was stressing me out; I saw more and more and more work for ME, in addition to the stuff I was already having to do today, my one "day off" this week. With my issues identified, I told Matt (the ringleader of most of the messes) that yes, I would clean up the flour and possibly the styrofoam, but he was now responsible for cooking dinner, folding the dry laundry and moving the towels into the dryer. For some reason, the role reversal intrigued him and he folded the whole dryer's worth of school uniforms and moved the towels, and decided to cook pasta for supper. The stuff isn't folded right, and I had to help just a little with lifting the pasta pot, but overall, I find that acceptable. Alex picked up the rest of the styrofoam, so that was cool too. I'm feeling a little calmer, even if the house isn't perfect anymore.
After supper, I'm going to attempt to bribe them with a movie if they get some reading done-- my next goal being to bring the decibel level down several notches...
I think we need to discuss the school calendar with the proper authorities. This sucks. ;)
Can you get Eileen Fisher or Chico's delivered to you there? Both have nice, rather unconstructed styles. E Fisher especially has nice fabrics. It's pricier but maybe you'd find a sale?
Or maybe a mens trouser cut would be flattering? Just don't get the ones with really high pockets on the back so you look like you were in the SNL "Mom Jeans" sketch. Did you see that one? Here's a link. Funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3rA2jOGhGw
Good for you for putting the kids to bed early! You needed the downtime.
I wish I could help you on the pants - the last great pair I had were a size 8 (they were actually tuxedo pants, with a nice, gentle flair at the bottom), and I'm not there anymore. Bye bye size 8. See you when I've got a tapeworm...
Shirl--the first art debacle occurred when E-Grrrl dropped a box of rubber stamps (ahem) on the handpainted Florentine frame of a print I'd carried safely home all the way from Rome.
A lot of whine being served in the blogosphere today, wordgirl. ;D
Granola Grrrl--playing with flour? FLOUR? Oh my. I admire your alternative resolution to the problem. Quite clever.
Mignon--I never thought I'd think of a tapeworm as my friend, but maybe....
t-Eileen Fisher is a brand I've admired in catalogs but hadn't tried...Maybe now's the time to take the plunge. Loved the video, though it the frightening tagline "For when you stop being a woman and start being mom" may haunt my dreams.
Angela--hey, hadn't heard from you in a while, welcome back!
How about because each son makes 35 at a time FOR A SNACK approximately one hour before dinner?
Question: are the walls of my house here JUST FOR ME TO CLIMB?
Answer: apparently.
Maybe we should just make a salad out of dollar bills and feed it to our children instead of food. Would probably be cheaper. Plus the bank has a drive thru--we'd never have to enter the grocery store again!