A bad taste in my mouth
January 28, 2007 at 13:01 Somewhere in the recesses of my subconscious someone planted a positive association with goat cheese, which is why I bought some this weekend at a church fundraiser.
I happily parted with my euros for the neat little tub of soft spreadable white cheese seasoned with bright green chives. I imagined gently swirling it on whole wheat crackers and eating it with the vegetable soup I’d made the day before.
E looked at me and said, “Ummm, I don’t like goat cheese.”
“Really?” I’m genuinely surprised.
“Yeah, it’s got a wild taste to it.”
I shrug my shoulders, undeterred. It looks so fresh and so delicious.
Oh, Gentle Readers, I was so, so wrong.
Later in the day, when I spread the goat cheese on a Triscuit, the initial splash of flavor was salty, creamy, and oniony—and then a millisecond later--WHAM! My tastebuds were bitch-slapped by the WILD THANG. Gah! Get that out of my mouth!
That cheese tasted like a petting zoo smells in the summer time—think musky, sweaty, goat balls.
"Bleah! Bleah! Bleah!" I bleated.
I was overwhelmed with an urge to wash my hands, brush my teeth, and pop an Altoid all at the same time.
I wished I could shake the taste off my tongue but it clung like Velcro to the fringe on a scarf.
The taste vividly brought back unpleasant memories of my brother’s brief foray into goat keeping and life on the farm with Fritz the Stinky He Goat. Once as I was approaching the house, Fritz wrapped his front legs around me and tried to mount me.
Y’all, I was about 13 when I lost my innocence in the traumatic attempted goat rape. With Fritz butting his head into my back, I understood for the first time where the term “horny” came from and why lascivious men were called “old goats.”
And the origin of goat cheese?
I don’t even want to think about it.
January 28, 2007
Copyright 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl in the Middle. All rights reserved.
Reader Comments (29)
Perhaps try sprinkling a tiny bit on a spinach salad with balsamic vinegar. YUMMY. Do it for me V-grrrl.
I remembered that earthy taste from some past experience, and tried my first sip with some reservations. Creamy, cold, wonderf- bleh bleh bleh!!!! I watched my redheaded M take a drink, say, "Hmmm, pretty good," and then her nostrils flared, her nose subtly wrinkled and she pushed the glass away with, "But I don't think I'll have any more."
So the remainder of the goat's milk gets drunk by Little M. She doesn't mind the taste and the 10g of fat per cup doesn't go to waste on her little, lean person.
This was a great LOL post, with a particular giggle about Fritz. Horny old goat.
Cheese made from SHEEP'S milk, however (at least the Spanish variety), is not stinky at all. Whether mildly cured or otherwise, it barely has any smell at all for me, and has a nice mild flavor. Go to your local super and search out Manchego cheese imported from Spain. You can even get it here in the U.S. I promise you, it will be great on crackers or just munching on thin slices of it.
I promise I'm trying not to snicker while reading your account of your deflowering by goat.