Visit the Ugly Shoe Hall of Fame!

I have sometimes described myself as "Just a grrrl traveling in comfortable shoes." Some people named Nance might say "really ugly shoes." But hey, I'm not insulted even if the truth hurts: my foyer closet is home of The Ugly Shoe Hall of  Shame Fame.

Long time readers may remember this post about my mother's hideous feet and the way they contributed to my anti-fashion shoe sensibilities at a young age. A few years spent selling shoes in my 20s didn't enhance my sense of style. Instead I came to appreciate ugly comfortable shoes all the more because I was standing on my feet for at least seven hours at a stretch. Owwww. No way I was doing that in heels!

When I moved to Belgium,  I began a life that involved walking everywhere.  It was almost two years before I had a car of my own, and I spent plenty of days on the cobblestone streets and brick sidewalks of Brussels, Paris, London, Rome, and other cities that we explored on foot. The walks got longer and my shoes just kept getting uglier.

I came to Europe with these:

They're the station wagons of female shoe wear. So suburban, so not sexy.

Then my first winter here was long, gray, and especially cold. E's travels to Australia influenced these purchases:

When I wear these Uggs, E-Grrrl says it looks like someone stuck tacks in my legs. She's just hoping I'll discard them and she'll inherit them in all their ginormous fleece-lined glory.

And before you say it, NO, these are not slippers, they're CLOGS. Please don't say they're Ugg-ly. They're so cozy and almost cute. Note the charming artsy embroidery! Very European!

My sturdy black walking boots were finally declared "terminal" after carrying me across Brussels, London, Bath, Portsmouth, and Paris. No amount of polish could revive them. So when we went to Italy last year, I had to buy new tourist shoes. Keep in mind that anyone who travels with my husband E is going to go on numerous urban death marches through the concrete and cobblestone jungles. Miles and miles and miles.  I got this pair of Eastlands from Zappos:

Don't you just bet the Italians in their slick designer shoes were awed by my good taste? I refer to these as Frankenstein's Baby Shoes. Admit it--that nickname makes sense. And that grease stain on the toe? It seriously disturbs E, but me, um, not so much. With a shoe this ugly, why worry about stains?

But I'm proud to announce that there's an all new entry in the Ugly Shoe Hall of Fame. See these babies?

These are an early Christmas gift from E.  He bought them for me when I dramatically declared they were the most comfortable shoes I had ever put on my feet, boasting a high-tech molded insole that perfectly balances gel-like softness with firm support.  I love 'em so much, I might wear them to bed tonight. 

December 7, 2007

Comments

[Claudia]

OK, the tack boots? WANT 'em. They are not ugly! They are SO comfy looking!!!!!!!!!!! I have a pair of Uggs I live in in the winter that are similar, but they don't have the cool tacks! I want tacks!!!! * throws a hissy *

This was too funny. Thanks for taking us on a tour of your shoe closet. It was like a mini-version of Cribs, on MTV. Kinda. (Work with me).

[furiousBall]

i'm the same way. i commonly wear a pair of Bjorn slip ons to work now. i'm not in a lot of meetings, so why not be comfy? i have fancy pants shoes in my desk

[Nance]

Oh.
My.
God.

V, please tell me that those are not the only shoes you have. As I kept scrolling down, my jaw just kept dropping farther and farther. They are all shaped the same--no shape! What on earth do you wear..."out?" And the furry things are out-in-public SHOES? Good heavens. I'm...without speech.

I'm going to go to my closet and hug all my shoes now. Especially my tartan plaid pumps and my cheetah print slingbacks.

Oh. My.

LOL.

[V-Grrrl]

Hey Claudia,

My "tacky" boots are limited edition Uggs. The model name: Rock Star!

Gotta love it.

[V-Grrrl]

Nance,

At least I don't have any Crocs. : )

[Di]

Sigh, I was hoping against hope that your new shoes were uglier than mine. I had to buy some yesterday because I'm hurting big time.

Mine have red on them, I'm not a red chick but they're SO comfortable. I never dither about buying shoes once I'm in there but it was half an hour and many conversations.

I believe mine are uglier ... definately redder. Sigh.

[Shirley]

I'm still laughing over Nance's response. OMG ROFL ... I haven't laughed that hard in a while! Now we know why you think those boot shoes (or whatever the proper name is) are so sexy ... they must be dripping sex in comparison to these. ;-) Now that said, I have to admit I go for utilitarian shoes often myself. It was only about a year ago that I gave up my basic clogs I'd gotten in college (I graduated in 1978). I had them resoled twice. Finally, the wood actually broke. I had my dad reglue them, but they just wouldn't hold up to wearing again ... they rebroke. Today I actually ended up looking at some ugly shoes thinking I wanted a basic simple black leather pair for wearing with jeans. I found some that I really liked, but they didn't have my size. Only after I was looking for a while did I realize that I was in the section for nurses, service workers, etc. They were all Dr. Scholl's ... now that should tell you how ugly THEY were.

I agree with E-grrrl's assessment by the way ... those boots would definitely look like you have thumbtacks stuck in you when you are wearing them.

With shoes like these you should be very European. When my husband has traveled abroad in the past, they have always told him to dress like a European, rather than an American, so no white sneakers, but "ugly brown shoes" instead. No kidding--the travel agent advised that. He told his new European friends and they laughed hesitantly and immediately looked at their shoes.

[Peter]

Only wise men dispense gifts that 'boast a high-tech molded insole that perfectly balances gel-like softness with firm support' ;-)

I like the way you approach the choice of your shoes: they must be comfortable. Watching all those women balancing on narrow high highs often made me wonder how they manage to get through the day.

[Kelby]

Being the ultimate shoe-a-holic, I must say that I enjoyed this post immensely.lol I cannot tell a lie. I love almost every shoe you posted. You and I would make great shoe-shopping buddies. :) No offense whatsoever intended, (at least not maliciously) to those who disagree but I have come to a place in my life where I just don't have anything to prove by wearing fancy heels. I think women who won't leave their house without heels on are women who are afraid to be themselves. And one ofthe things that I like the most about you is that you are unafraid to be yourself. I say you wear your shoes and let your heel-worshipping friends wear theirs and we'll meet back here in 10 years to see which of you has the most spider veins and mangled toes!

Trisha Yearwood's "Real Live Woman" is looping through my head as I write this so I'm inspired to tell you not to let anyone shame you out of being a real live woman! :)

*Absolutely NO malicious offense intended to you heel goddesses. lol

[platypus]

I love shoes but I just can't wear the pretty ones. I've spent too long buyng shoes that hurt and in the end I've decided to go with comfort. Congratulations on your collection! I'm coveting the 'tack' boots now. Stumpy's come home tonight and brought her (plain) Uggs with her as part of the process of bringing everything home before the end of term. She may not see them again...

[mamatulip]

Those clogs look so comfy. So do those tack-boots. In fact -- all of your shoes look comfy.

[Lynn]

I love comfy shoes - I'm on my feet all day too so for me comfort is the most important thing! I bought my first Birkenstocks a few years ago and like those too - LL Bean and Lands End have some comfy suede slip ons that I like too! I used to have some cute heels, can't deal with them any more! Those pointy toed high heel shoes look like torture instruments to me - cute, but torturous!

[Nance]

I wear high heels almost every day to my job--I teach high school English. I am on my feet constantly. I buy high quality shoes that fit well and are well-made and they are comfortable. I understand that many people can't wear high heels, but many of us can!

If any of you doubt that I am in any way not a "real live woman," please come and visit me at The Dept. of Nance. I think after you browse my thoughts there, you'll find that I most certainly am, high heels and all.

[Expat-CIT]

I am also a slightly-embarrassed charter member of the "Ugly Shoe Club". The ONLY shoes I wear when it is not sandal appropriate (which is only about 45 days in Pennsylvania), are Dansko Professional Clogs. I do get wild and crazy with the colors - black and brown, ha, ha, ha! Just got a new pair in the mail from Zappos because, as I told my husband, I can't go to Belgium in these black clogs I have been wearing for 2 years! Got the new ones in brown.

Now during the summer I get a little more adventurous. Only Born sandals - very well made, big wedge heels, super comfortable but at least a bit stylish. After my first experience on Europe's venerable cobblestones in Masstricht that left me with sore ankles, I can't see any stilletos in my future! V, check out the Born brand next time you're in the market for summer shoes.

[Kelby]

Nance: LOL Calm down, girl. I meant no offense whatsoever to you. I'm just throwing a little like-minded support to V. :) As for the debate regarding the remote possibility that heels could be truly comfortable or healthy, we'll just have to agree to disagree but I do so in the kindest of spirits. I support your right to love your heels as much as I love my comfies. We both love our shoes so in the end, it's all good!

By the way, since you mentioned the issue of purchasing only quality shoes, I feel I must, being the sick shoe-a-holic that I am, point out the fact that shoe shopping is the one and ONLY facet of my personality that is 100% bonafide snob. lol My friends and family will tell you that I hate cheap shoes so much that I won't even wear my Cole-Haans, etc. inside of a Payless shoe store because I feel I owe it to them not to degrade them in that way. LOLOL We've had many a gut-busting laugh over that. LOL I may wear a Walmart sweatshirt and a pair of Levi's to the mall but you can bet that I will be wearing only the best on my feet! Last year, for my birthday, my husband had a shirt made for me that reads: "Will work for shoes" You have no idea the depth of my quality shoe obsession. lol

My name is Kelby and I have a problem.... LOLOL

[V-Grrrl]

Kelby,

Don't torture Nance by letting her know many of my ugly shoes cost close to $100. She'll lose sleep over the painful thought that my "tacky" boots were about $200 at full price (I got them on clearance though).

I've paid a lot for comfortable shoes (Columbia, Teva, Birkenstock, Rockport), but I've also been pleasantly surprised by the comfort and durability of some of the cheap shoes at Target and Wal-Mart.

My sister buys only the best shoes and practically lives in heels, and let me just say this: her feet look like my mom's. Ewwww. (Follow the link in the original post for more on that topic.)

My shoes are ugly, my feet are pretty. : )

[Tj]

My, my, my. There is no need to squabble. Nance is right, heels can be comfortable. Kelby is right, ugly shoes can be comfortable. What everyone is forgetting is you can find pretty shoes that are BOTH fashionable and comfortable. Comfort doesn't have to be ugly, unless you want it to be, especially if you are willing to spend some $$$. There are many designers today who make gorgeous shoes that are indeed comfortable and GOOD for your feet. Spend some time on Zappos or Shoebuy or in Nordstroms or other high end retailers. Ladies, you can have it all when it comes to shoes.

[Kelby]

Vgrrrl: LOL I wish I had mentioned that because our comfort shoes DO cost a lot! So if we're wearing ugly shoes, we're wearing expensive ugly shoes! LOL (I don't think they're ugly, actually) :) Fashion isn't what you wear, but how you wear it.

Word.

LOLOL

[Michael]

I am the Imelda Marcos of hiking boots.


I have boots/shoes for snow, ice, desert, jungles, mountains, hunting-upland birds, ducks, and deer, plus rafting white water and kayaking the flats. I even have boots for ranching, dancing, and Low Maintenace romancing.

My feet, though deemed repulsive by higher authority, are well protected thanks to Red Wing, REI, and Cabelas.

V-you're not alone with the shoe thing.

[V-Grrrl]

"ranching, dancing, and Low Maintenance romancing."

Michael, you rock my world--and my shoe closet.

You know those Columbia shoes in the last photo are called Tenacity. You've GOT to try a pair on. "As good as sex" (that's a compliment, Low Maintenance Grrrl, really!)