Blogger thinks I need to speak like a Belgian
May 3, 2007 at 5:41 Yesterday, Di over in Antwerp wrote a post in Blogger and as she typed the headline in English, foreign characters appeared instead. She's not sure, but she may have posted a headline in Arabic. We hope for her sake that she only said kind, peace-loving things and did not insult anyone. Ahem.
Her dilemma over her mysterious headline made me laugh because a little over a week ago I was over at her site, and when I went to post a comment, the page that appeared with the comment box had all its prompts written in Dutch. I thought she'd re-set her language parameters on purpose since she's a fully-integrated, card-carrying, Belgian-marrying, Dutch-studying Grrrl. The problem was that when I navigated away from her page, ALL the Blogger pages I visited for days afterwards addressed me in Dutch on the comment page.
Clearly Blogger had decided that my posting in English was an insult and that my French was pathetic. The Blogger gods decreed that since I live in Flanders, I MUST speak Flemish. No more excuses!
Y'all, there's a reason I've never learned to speak Flemish (a variation of Dutch), and I'll share it with you. It's not 'cause I'm lazy; I studied Spanish in high school and French in college. Dutch is just different.
The first time I looked at my Spanish and French textbooks, it all seemed vaguely familiar. Some of the words looked just like their English counterparts, the arrangement of vowels and consonants was all cozy and "normal" to the English eye, and the word lengths seemed just right. When you look at Spanish or French you think, "I can learn this language!"
Not so with Dutch. Y'all, Dutch is NOT normal. These folks have a THING for double vowels! All those "aa" and "ii" spellings just hurt my brain. Plus, who knew "g" was such an important letter? In Dutch, if you don't have a double vowel to confuse the English speakers, you can throw in some random "g's" for effect. And if a word doesn't have at least 10 letters, you can always add a "k" or two and fill it out.
Case in point: Want to know how many people have visited your Blogger profile? Just check your "Gebruikersstatistieken." Got that? Those are your stats, people!
See what I mean? Dutch is an intimidating language. When I look at Dutch words and try to process them, the image that comes to mind is someone trying to talk while choking on a piece of steak and throwing up in their mouth a little bit.
Don't believe me? Check this out:
"Nog geen opmerkingen oorspronkeliik bericht weergeven."
Do you "hear" the guttural word burp in those words? Doesn't it sound like your mouth is full and you're going to hurl?
Don't be nervous, despite the scary double vowels, that's just Blogger asking me if I want to see the original post while composing a comment.
No thanks, Blogger, I 'll just write my comment and move on to the word verification.
"Geef de tekens op die in de bovenstaande afbeelding worden weergegeven."
Didn't get that? Well hey, Silly, I have to type the characters just as they appear in the box.
At this point I'm getting uncomfortable. Things are starting to get a little personal.
Now it's one thing for Blogger to ask for my Naam, but when they beg for "Uw webpagina," I just want to slap the monitor. I am NOT revealing my "webpagina" to strangers, Mmmm'kay? Back off!
After sending my comment, I get this: "Uw reactie is opgeslagen en wordt weergegeven wanneer de eigenaar vad de blog toestemming heeft gegeven."
This means someone is holding my "reactie" until it's approved. Hmmm!
I'm sure they want to check out my "webpagina" first before giving me a forum on their site.
Perverts!
Feel free to leave a comment here. I promise not to demand to see your "webpaginas."
May 3, 2007
Reader Comments (24)
My husband recently went to post a comment on my site and Blogger had converted him to German. Why German? No clue. Had to poke around a while until we found the "Change Languages" option. Get there on the double -- and avoid those rude "webpaginas" inquiries!
Seeing all those Dutch words reminds me of Lil' C typing on the computer. lol!
There's some new immigrant policy stuff out ... maybe you have to do Dutch unless you know enough to find taal and change things.
Delicious post though :)
Just wait til you go online from Germany ..
'Webpagina'!! Now, prepare yourself, V: in Spanish, among other things, it can be called 'página web'. BUT... See that accent mark over the 'a'? (If it shows up in the comments.) That means you must stress that syllable, and also, the letter 'i' sounds like 'ee' so it ends up being: PAH-hee-nuh. And it never occured to me until I saw your Dutch word that anyone might ever think of pronouncing it to rhyme with part of the female anatomy. :-)
But if you're surrounded 24/24 by Dutch speakers, it can be done: my brother's wife (spoke English at home) picked it up real quick: within 2 years she sounded like my brother.
Guess that most expats simply fail to see the need for Dutch,as most of us Belgians speak English (and French)
Loved the post V!
When we agreed to come to Belgium, I thought I would dust off my French language skills and advance them. I had no idea I'd be living in a Dutch commune nor that it would be improper to speak French here. So now, not only do I not know Dutch but my French is weaker than weak from lack of exercise. If I were to stay here for a longer period of time, I'd be bold and tackle Dutch--or move into the heart of Brussels and just use my French.
It was funny to us... ahem.
:)