Summertime and the livin ain't easy

The first day of summer arrives after several nights of insomnia. There are a lot of fun ways to get tangled up in the sheets; tossing and turning while swatting at mosquitoes isn't one of them.

I got bitten on both cheeks and grew a zit on my chin overnight, a trifecta of ugliness demanding industrial strength concealer this morning. Good thing I already had the Revlon out to deal with my undereye circles.

I'm under the influence of whoremones hormones. I can't decide if I have too much estrogen or not enough. I think the levels change hourly, and even Petey the Black Cat is scared and superstitious. He hasn't slept with me for two nights.

Sleep won't sleep with me either.

So I stare into the dim light and think of everything and nothing and wonder about the shape of my life and the choices I've made and the two kiddos down the hall.

I dare to ask the Big Questions and wish for what I can't have.

And I dream of dreaming, of wandering down the road not taken, of being someone else for a night, or a day, or even a summer.

 June 21, 2007

Copyright 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl in the Middle.

Comments

[TB]

Isn't it strange... I always find myself more sleepless around the celestial events. Solstice and equinox leave me wakeful and blundering around in the daylight hours for days at a time, even more than usual.

I hope you get some sleep.

[furiousBall]

It's odd how blemishes love to make constellations on my own visage too. Look it's the Big Ugly!

[V-Grrrl]

The Big Ugly!

You so make me laugh.

[KDK]

I'm not a church-going girl, but here's a line from St. Theresa's prayer that I always find comforting: May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

And being a non-church-going girl, I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply to being in a mosquito's flight path.

Love the line 'Sleep won't sleep with me either.'

[Nance]

Sigh. I'm so tired of hearing the response "hormones" when I start cranking around about my hair, my skin, my insomnia, my CRANKINESS! We get menstruation, stretch marks, and labor...do we have to get hormone bullshit too?

[Peter]

Looking back at previous posts, I'm sure that deep down inside you know you made the right decisions.

And praise the lord that you're not male, Veronica.

Some of those poor creatures are 365/365 under the influence of their hormones, the "dihydo testosterone" variety (yet, I once majored in chemistry) that tends to break marriages, starts wars and causes baldness at 40.

Well, not always :-)

[Peace]

I'm with you about the menopausal BS. Women get stuck with all the crap stuff.

Insomnia. I went almost a year being dead tired, but couldn't sleep. And then I found the best secret: Melatonin.

I have found that melatonin (you get at the health food store) is a wonder drug. Not a sleeping pill. Just the chemical your body naturally makes and helps get you back into a sleep pattern. I never feel that heavy-headed-drugged-outfeeling I got whenever I took a sleeping pill.
more info: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/melatonin/NS_patient-melatonin

Prior to finding melatonin, I took up waterpainting (not an artist by NO means) just to give me something productive to do in the middle of the night (morning) when I couldn't sleep. They are my insomnia pictures. I have quite a stack now.

Truly worth a try. Good luck....

[Ortizzle]

Ah, sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care. And then lets the bugs and the zits have their wicked way. It ain't fair. Sleep is supposed to have a healing effect. Maybe if you put on industrial strength make-up base before bed?!

[V-Grrrl]

Peace,

Thanks for the tip on melantonin. I have heard of it but never tried it. I have to check with my doctor to see if it's OK for me, as I'm a wreck of a Grrrl and take prescription meds daily.

KDK,

I like that line from that prayer. Thanks for sharing it.

[mamatulip]

"A trifecta of ugliness demanding industrial strength concealer..."

You make me laugh, but it's a sympathy laugh. I feel you. It's my, uh, "time" right now and I have broken out in some serious zits, those 'under the skin' kind of zits that really, really hurt.

[V-Grrrl]

Mama T,

Ow. The undergrounders that make you ask, "Is that a zit or a geological formation?"