All about sharing

When they were very young...

E-Grrrl and A were squabbling in the living room when E-Grrrl's voice rose with indignation as she addressed her brother:

"What is WRONG with you? Did you FAIL preschool and never learn to SHARE?!"

(Sweet grrrl. Sharp tongue. Don't know where she gets that from.)

Her outburst made me think about sharing. Learning to share is a life long process, it begins but doesn't end with preschool.

It's easy for me to share my thoughts, emotions, and experiences on this blog, even those moments I'm far from proud of, but it's harder for me to commit to sharing my time as a volunteer.

Since moving to Belgium, I've learned to do two things I never thought I would: share a single shower stall with my entire family and share towels, meaning when I grab a towel that's been used and hung to dry in the bathroom, I have no idea who used it last. Before this I always had my own towel and my own towel rack and no one used "my" towel--not even E. We don't have space for keeping four towels separated and hung in the bathroom here, so I've learned to share.

I'm not so good at sharing the computer or my desk, but I loaned my laptop to Di for a few weeks.

I share my art supplies with E-Grrrl, but E and I realized recently that we each need our own digital camera.

I'm pretty good at sharing whatever is on my plate, though I can be a little possessive of the popcorn bowl.

Help yourself to my lotion, shampoo and hair stuff, but don't mess with my perfume, jewelry, or wide-tooth comb.

And my Ugg slippers? Back OFF.  But If I'm in a good mood, I might let you wear my Tevas.

E-Grrrl, A, and I all wear the same size socks right now. I don't like sharing socks.

I do like sharing my bed...

...but you can't have my pillow. Ditto my bathrobe, my most important comfort object.

I don't like anyone touching my iPod or moving my CDs off the shelves. Do what you want with my books.

You can sit in "my" chair, use my favorite mug and drink my English Breakfast tea, but borrow my favorite pen? No way.

How about you? What do you find easy to share? What do you keep to yourself?

September 21, 2007

Comments

[Elisabeth]

This was lovely, V. I have not thought about the concept of "sharing" in a very long time. There are definitely things that I do not like to share at all. I think that I may steal this post idea from you, and write a similar list of things I am willing to share, and of those I will absolutely never share.

[littlepurplecow]

I am eager to share my thoughts, learnings and ideas, but never the secrets of others. I'm a vault. But there's this coffee cup with my name on it, a consolation prize given to me by my mother for not winning the homecoming queen crown twenty years ago. I simply can not share it.

[Tse Fam]

This is something I think about a lot as I teach my young children about sharing. Sharing doesn't come as naturally to me as it does to my husband (the youngest of 6) and I pray that my children take after him in that regard. I grew up not touching my father's things because if something was not where he left it, there was big trouble! We never shared off of one another's plates and it took me a long time to be comfortable with even my husband sharing my food. I hate that I have the urge to sometimes grab something back and say "That's mine!" I feel like a 2 year old trapped in a 31 year old body at times. The house I grew up in was not a house where I often heard said to others "Make yourself at home" or "What's mine is yours" and I struggle a lot to make my home that welcoming. I wish it came more naturally and resent that it is so forced for me. I find that I am able to give things away very easily if I no longer need it and would much rather donate things than sell them, but as far as sharing something I still use or need, that is a big struggle for me. I definitely agree that learning to share is a life long process. I suppose that I have learned to share, I just haven't learned to share without wishing I didn't have to. (Boy am I glad my children can't read yet--this post is definitely not something I'm proud of!)

[wordgirl]

As the oldest child I was always asked to share my things, and I had a problem with it. My younger sisters would lose or break their own things and then I would be forced to share mine. There wasn't much money and I knew that if anything happened to the object I had to lend someone else, it would not be replaced. The same thing happens in my life now. I don't mind the concept of sharing, but I fear that I won't get my stuff back if I do. No one wants to borrow my bathrobe, but I use my husband's all of the time.

[Peter]

There is definitely something I won't share, and it's not negotiable, no matter what happens: my man :-)

[mamatulip]

Interesting post, V. I found myself smiling at what you can and can't share.

I can't share my toothbrush, razor or loofah. I can't share my water -- I have spit issues. And I have a hard time sharing something that was either given to me by my mother or once was hers.

But I have no problems sharing hugs and kisses, towels, clothing, food, books and movies.

[Clare]

Sharing - yes a difficult skill at any age. I can share ideas, teabags and chocolate, but never my fountain pen, dressmaking scissors or my mug! The kids love to share my stuff, but are rather more possessive of their own!

[impy]

Of late? I have trouble to share my true, spontaneous feelings. I feel as if people will jump to the first most awful perception, and not always the kindest, or truest, or least dramatic. I am jaded. So, in keeping life simple, happy, and a bit fake, I just answer "Hi how are you today", with fine thanks. I no longer inspect my emotions too closely. I ignore them, and just glaze over the surface. I have learned time and time again, that it's just not worth it, or easy. At least I know who I am. If nobody else does.

[Expat-CIT]

At the present moment, I am temporarily living with my family of 4 and a large male Chesapeake Bay Retriever in an apartment over a two-car garage. In short, we share EVERYTHING!

I will share any of my scrapbook supplies but am much more reluctant to share my stamps. I keep them impeccably clean for some reason.

I'll share any food off my plate, but not my Galler chocolates my husband brings home to me from Liege.

I'll share anything in my makeup bag except my Lou Lou perfume - worn since college and discontinued in the late 90s - obtained via overseas purchases from ebay - adored by my husband who equates this smell with the essence of me.

[Amber]

hehehe. This is a good idea for a post...I will have to think about it. I do have issues. LOL! When Kory and I were taking a Psych of Marriage class together, the teacher said something about how So and So has to feel they have "owned" something before they feel okay to share it. And Kory and I both laughed. That is how I am. I can share...somethings easier than others. And somethings only when I have "owned" it enough.

:)

[Cissy]

Sweet photo.

I was thinking of you today with all the news about Belgium.

[RD]

Besides the husband and the toothbrush (really, who shares toothbrushes?!), I'm recently feeling very selfish about my shoes now that my 12 yr old wears my size and begs to wear every one of them. I'm also at a place in life, figuratively and literally, where I'm very hesitant to share feelings and opinions with most people I come in contact with. It's probably for the best, given I'm feeling quite negative about this phase I'm in. Anything else, it's yours.

[wendy]

I don't share my bed. Sounds weird huh...but I love sleeping alone.

Wouldn't think that of a warm and fuzzy like me..but I have an intense need for space.

[Ortizzle]

Sharing is good. It's also hard, sometimes. I hated sharing a bedroom with my sister, and loved it when she moved out after high school. Then I had a whole year of having my own bedroom... before I had to share a dorm room in college. In fact, I have to say that living space has always been the hardest for me to share. Unless... it is with the right person, of course. But even then, there are times when we all need our own little room. Or towel. Or pen. Or laptop. Or... whatever. I hope that doesn't make me selfish. Because I like to think I am a fairly generous person. But there are things that must be mine. It has taken me many years to learn to share certain stuff.

[wf]

Time, talent, and treasure is the only stuff that matters when it comes to sharing.

[simon]

Sharing a house with a wife and two children has forced me to relax a little about certain things (messiness, posessions etc.)
These days I'm happy to share pretty much anything as long as you don't keep it too long and put it back where you found it, in the same condition as when you took it.
It's only stuff, after all.