Please don't mention Christmas

We celebrated my son A’s birthday in early September and my daughter E-Grrrl’s birthday yesterday, and today the kids started talking about Christmas. Yes, it’s only October 1.

I’m still hungover from coordinating two birthday celebrations in September, E has several major trips between now and the end of the year and is under pressure to meet deadlines in between them, we’re feeling the financial pinch of the dollar’s value dropping just as we need the income to prepare for our move, and the move itself looms on the horizon.

We wanted to make a few more trips while we’re still in Europe and have talked about going to Ireland, Bavaria, and Paris but whenever it comes time to make a decision and commit to a trip, we waffle. The kids have a number of long weekends on their schedule, but E doesn’t feel he can be out of the office. So many expenses and so little time.

So we sit feeling vaguely agitated about wasting time and missing opportunities to travel knowing that if we commit to travel we’ll be agitated about expenses and work. Our weekends are rapidly becoming booked with sports and Scouts as well.

And now the kids are talking about Christmas, and it just makes me cringe. I’m not ready to even think about preparing for Christmas or consider what follows. Christmas has become not a holiday but a benchmark in the moving process. Consider:

After Christmas, our life in Belgium rapidly shifts gears as we get our household and cars ready to ship back to the U.S. and move into an apartment after the packers come.

After Christmas, I have to be ready to occupy that uncomfortable place between being home in Belgium and going home to America.

After Christmas, we have to swim through all the details of coordinating an international move—switching insurance, gathering medical and school records, getting the cat an international health certificate, doing change of addresses, out processing through the military and Embassy channels, turning in IDs, arranging for travel etc.

After Christmas, we need to figure out where we’ll be staying in the U.S. while we wait for our household goods to arrive and how we’ll handle transportation while waiting for our second car.

After Christmas, we need to decide whether our kids will be attending public school or private school.

After Christmas, I need to have a concrete plan in place for my career.

After Christmas, life will be stressful and exciting, full of endings and beginnings, goodbyes and hellos.

And today, on October 1, I’m not ready to think about it.

October 1, 2007

Comments

[Di]

Ahhhh, I have the solution.
Eat drink and be merry for it's not until after Christmas you move.

That didn't help, did it?
I tried a little.

It will be stink when you move (she writes while searching for another, more grown up word).

Best we don't talk of it till just before you go actually ...

Happy birthday to little E. Sahara sends sloppy kisses and a birthday hug xo

[RD]

Ugh...I'm tired just reading your To Do list. Kinda makes you just want to apply the brakes and forget the move. I sympathize--it's stressful. But somehow these things just take on a life of thei rown, and we end up simply rolling with it. All the best in the busy days ahead!

[AP in UK]

Oh my -- what a daunting post-Christmas prospect! Despite the pressures, I'm confident that it will all come together for you. And I do hope you can find a way to manage a fun family trip before you go home...

[Expat-CIT]

Sounds like my life in reverse - after Christmas! Wassail anyone?

[Elisabeth]

It all sounds quite daunting, but all will get done. If I were in your shoes, though, I'd hate even thinking all of that's ahead.

Oh, and I loved the post about your daughter's birthday. Hope it was very happy!

[wf]

The things that must get done, will, and as RD says, you'll roll with it because you must.

The rest is your choice. There is so much to do, if you do not make an item, like traveling, a priority, it will simply not happen. The rest of life will take over and fill your time. If you want to find excuses, you will. They are there for the taking.

On the other hand, with some planning, you can travel, if it is what you and your family really want.

Consider:
- most Americans never travel outside their state, much less to a foreign country
- once you return to the States, what is the chance you will return to Europe?
- will you return to the States and regret not taking that special trip (or two)? It will never get less expensive.
- how important are sports and scouts? Does it compare to seeing the land of the Celts, visiting the castle that inspired Disney, admiring the beauty of the Alps, seeing the Eifel tower twinkle at night, walking in Monet's garden? or whatever else draws you to Ireland, Bavaria and Paris?

If the exchange rate is keeping you from traveling, consider:
- Your airfare across the pond is "paid"
- You already have your "rental car" if you need one, allowing you to travel with all the extras the kids want, if needed
-- OK gas is expensive, but it's the same price if you start your trip in the US, and it will not get cheaper with time
- You have access to low cost European airlines
- You have access to people who know you and your preferences, can give you current travel information about what bargains can be had for tours and hotels, and can likely tell you what you'll enjoy and what you won't

Before you know it, Christmas will be here!

[heretoo]

You are actually fortunate to know exactly when and where you are moving next. There are lots of people here who will be moving somewhere over Christmas break. However, EVEN THEY do not know it yet, nor do they know where in the world they will go next. So, you have it easier in that respect. Most people who work for the company my husband works for get about 4-6 weeks notice of international moves. They must do all those things you listed but in that short amount of time.

[Tera]

It doesn't help that stores are already selling Christmas and Sinterklaas stuff...argh! I get so frustrated by that. My kids do nothing but count down the days til Sinterklaas arrives from Spain on his boat...Nov 11. And even though it's fast approaching and I've not got all the whoopdeedoo you have on your plate, I'm already regretting it as I pick up little shoe presents when I see something I think they'll like. But, I can't wait for Christmas!!! My parents are coming!!! YEAH!!!

[Tonya]

Christmas is coming too quickly. I don't know if it is an option for you, but when we go home we are planning on taking the Queen Mary 2. They even kennel pets, I hear.
We figure, it takes 7 days, so no jet lag. They have activities for the kid(s) so it is waaaay better than a transatlantic flight trying to herd a child or two, the cat can come along with us, and we would have to stay in a hotel if we flew back anyway - awaiting household goods.
Good luck!

[V-Grrrl]

Tonya,

Hey, now that sounds way cool--arriving well rested and having an amazing trip instead of being packed like sardines on the redeye to D.C.

Heretoo,

That does make it really hard--especially not knowing WHERE you're going. When we came over to Belgium, we had six weeks notice. We were anticipating that we'd probably come so I'd downsized all our stuff and we'd made lists of all we'd have to do if and when we got the go ahead. We got notice on Feb. 2 and E had to report to work on March 20.

wf,

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it's a question of priorities. I think as we anticipate moving, our heart isn't in the travel as much as it is in paving the way for a smooth financial transition back to America. When we chose to buy a house, all our plans changed and our departure date moved up. It's nice to have the house there, waiting and to be able to get back faster so we can see my mother-in-law, but it's created circumstances that make planning big trips a lot less appealing.

[Peter]

V, there's the obvious duality in relocating as an expat. The friends, country and way of life you leave behind, the new start back home in America.

Like you pointed out, traveling-and-having-fun-doing-so requires a certain mindset.

If your heart isn't in the travel as much as it is in preparing to relocate, even the most impressive last-minute European trip may become disappointing.

There's no inherent pleasure linked to visiting or being in certain places, it all depends on your state of mind.

Anyway, make these you all enjoy your last few months in Belgium!