Compost Studios

I am a writer, nature lover, budding artist, photography enthusiast, and creative spirit reducing, reusing, and recycling midlife experiences through narrative, art, photos, and poetry. 

I can be reached at:

veronica@v-grrrl.com      

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Veronica McCabe Deschambault, V-Grrrl in the Middle, Compost StudiosTM

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Friday
Jan042008

Holiday break at Chez V and a few movie reviews

Ten-year- old E-Grrrl has been out of school since December 21 and hasn’t requested a single play date. She’s entertained herself steadily for more than two weeks, making art, reading book after book after book, playing her Nintendo DS, and doing jigsaw puzzles. She's been clamoring for all things domestic, and and asked me to teach her to crochet and let her have free rein in the kitchen.  She has a number of cookbooks, but her favorite is by Mollie Katzen and is called “Honest Pretzels.” Over break she’s made muffins, real pretzels, pizza with a homemade crust, macaroni and cheese( from scratch), pumpkin bread, pumpkin pies, chocolate chip cookies, omelets, and french toast.  She’s been able to manage all the cooking and baking without any supervision and is even beginning to clean up a bit afterwards. Woo hoo.

Her brother, twelve-year-old A, has had a constant stream of play dates and a tendency to park in front of anything electronic. Today he started melting my votive candles and sculpting with warm wax and I let him do it, just because it was an improvement over having him veg out on the sofa. He’s done some reading along the way, noodled around in the garage, and shot airsoft guns with his buddies. We took the kids swimming one afternoon and E also took them to see Enchanted.

While E spent most of his holiday break getting ready for our move, he also indulged in watching a string of the type of violent, historical movies that I never watch: 300, Apocalypto, We Were All Soldiers, Letters from Iwo Jima, the Passion of the Christ, and others.

I watched From Here to Eternity (old version), The Girl in the Café, and The Shipping News. All three were really good.

From Here to Eternity stars Robert Mitchum, Montgomery Clift, Frank Sinatra, Deborah Kerr, and Donna Reed. It follows the love affairs and careers of two soldiers in Hawaii during WWII. The story line was well developed, the acting was well done (except when the characters were drunk and it was oh-so-exaggerated), and the female leads played surprisingly strong and independent women.

The Girl in the Café was an HBO movie starring British actor Bill Nighy as an overworked high-level government administrator who is losing hope on ever being able to make a difference in the world through the political process. He’s buried his feelings and ambitions and turned into a bureaucratic drone—until he meets the girl in the café. The movie is a bit like Lost in Translation and is set during the G8 conference where world leaders are being challenged to address the effect of poverty in Africa.

The Shipping News is based on a critically acclaimed book that I haven’t read. It starred Kevin Spacey, Julianne Moore, Cate Blanchett, and Judi Dench. It tells the story of a man (Kevin Spacey) who has been drowning in nothingness his whole life, pushed down by his abusive father. He’s sucked into an even sadder situation by a mesmerizing woman named Petal, played with skill by Cate Blanchett. Judi Dench’s character appears on the scene after a family tragedy and reluctantly takes charge. She convinces the main character to move to Newfoundland and explore the family’s ancestral land while starting a new life. The past and present continually collide in ways that are disturbing and mystical, and yet ultimately, this is a hopeful movie about the pangs that come with rebirth.

Did you watch any good movies over break?

January 4, 2008

Thursday
Jan032008

I got new stamps for Christmas

These cards explore variations on a theme:

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Bold, blue, and boho

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Soft, subtle, serene

I gravitate toward simple compositions that draw their strength from color more than from embellishments or complexity of design.

Dove stamp by Penny Black. Flourish stamp by Inkadinkado. Cardstock, ink, and most papers by Stampin Up.

January 3, 2008

Tuesday
Jan012008

A new year, an old life

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What is it about January 1 that takes the shine off the Christmas decorations and makes the house look shabby and forlorn? Last night we rang in the New Year with American friends, buoyant and laughing, hugging and kissing, tossing bright metallic confetti into the air, and sipping champagne. It was all merriment and celebration.

I fell into bed late, late, late, got up before lunch, and pulled the curtains aside to reveal a deep gray day. I noticed my pajama pants were on inside out as I attempted to fry the last egg in the house and broke the yoke. Suddenly I felt superstitious and so, so tired.

Head pressed against the cool glass of the window, eyes taking in a view of  winter green hedges and grass and a thatched roof, a view that won't belong to me much longer. Listening to E vacuum the garage, the kids squabbling, and the cat purring and hoping that the year will shine despite the dullness of the first day.

I have no resolutions. I'm not carrying any expectations. I'm putting one foot in front of the other and continuing the journey. A little weary, a little skeptical, but still dwelling in possibility and believing in the people that I love.

January 1, 2008

Monday
Dec312007

Party's over in Brussels

Right before Christmas, the American Embassy issued an alert to all American citizens in the Brussels area, telling us to keep a low profile, avoid the Christmas markets and shopping centers, and be wary of using public transit in the city. The reason? Belgian police had arrested fourteen terror suspects and were concerned an attack was imminent.

And now terror fears have led to the cancellation of one of our favorite Belgian traditions: massive fireworks displays at midnight on New Year's Eve. Our house is situated so that we can watch the fireworks over Brussels from our third floor windows. It's always a spectacular display and one we enjoy with champagne glasses in hand.

Details from BBC News:

Terror fear douses Brussels party

Traditional New Year's Eve fireworks in the Belgian capital Brussels have been cancelled because of a security alert.

The Christmas market will close at 1800 instead of staying open all night, and even the ice rink will close early.

"We are still facing a potential threat," a spokesman for the Belgian capital said.

The alert follows police saying they had discovered a plot to free a jailed al-Qaeda suspect, Nizar Trabelsi. He has denied any such plot.

Last week police detained 14 people suspected of taking part in the alleged plot. But a judge said there was not enough evidence to hold any of them.

Trabelsi himself wrote to a Belgian newspaper to deny any attempt to carry out a jailbreak or terror attack.

The government raised security levels, with increased patrols at Brussels airport, transport systems and commercial centres, and says it sees no reason to lower them.

"We've reviewed the situation and the conclusion is that there is no reason to scale back the current level of (terror) alert," Jaak Raas of the government's Crisis Centre said.

Trabelsi, 37, is a Tunisian who came to Europe to play professional football in 1989.

He was arrested two days after the 9/11 attacks on targets in New York and Washington, and is now serving 10 years for plotting to blow up an air base in Belgium used by US personnel.

***

December 31, 2007

Saturday
Dec292007

The power of boots

E bought me my first pair of cowboy boots for my 19th birthday. I'd been clamoring for a pair since I was 16 but various twists of fate and a lack of money had kept me from fulfilling my dream. The pair E bought for me were "urban cowboy" boots, round-toed and square heeled. They looked a lot like these:

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I'd tuck my Levis into them and stride across campus. Those boots made my long lean runner legs look even longer and leaner. This was the beginning of my love affair with boots.

In the mid-80s I lived in Oklahoma and bought two pairs of sharp-toed, cowboy-heel wonders--one with a tall shaft and a harness strap and the other with a shorter, slightly flared  shaft, weathered leather, and tarnished silver buckles.  The latter was my favorite. Oh, I felt mighty fine in those boots and even bought a leather jean belt with silver conchos on it (just like Bruce Springsteen wore during his Born in the USA days). I had a pair of dangling concho earring from Shepler's and some Native American jewelry from New Mexico to complete my look, but I was still wearing Levis because no matter how long I lived in Oklahoma I was NOT going to be a Wrangler grrrl. I knew WHO I was, after all, and I wasn't going the Wranglers, ropers, big hair and big belt buckle route no matter how many cowgirls crossed my path. (Right, Kelby?) 

In addition to my cowboy boots, I also had the ubiquitous black leather riding boots of that era, and later square-toed high heeled boots. They were wardrobe staples, but they never made my heart race. They weren't sexy. They weren't sassy. They were just boring. Not like these boots:

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These are my famous "wicked little boots,"  subject of much discussion and debate. It's hard to appreciate all their sharp-toed, pointy-heeled glory in this photo, but let me tell you, they make my black velvet jeans sing AND when I wear them with tights and a dress, I feel unstoppable and daring. E calls them the "Grinch shoes." Bernie calls them my "pixie boots." You can guess which description I like better.

When I left Oklahoma, I took my scruffy weathered-leather cowboy boots with me to Virginia, but over time the shape of my foot changed (along with the shape of every other part of my body--sob!) and they no longer fit me perfectly. I've kept them all these years simply because I like to just set them out on the hardwood floors, admire their hardy lines, and let them stir my soul and my memories. Those boots could tell STORIES--the places they've been, the adventures they've known. I had an eye out for replacements, but life on the fringe of the far flung D.C. suburbs isn't conducive to shopping for cowboy boots.

I did, however, see some in a catalog that I adore, Isabella Bird. They offered a number of styles I liked, but my favorites by far were the Prairie Flower boots. For years I eyed those boots and for years I talked myself out of buying them. Then lo and behold, two weeks ago I noticed they were on sale. And when I say on sale, I mean ON SALE. We're talking about 70 percent off.  It took less than a minute to go online and order them. BAM!

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Aren't they gorgeous? Real cowboy toes and heels and just the right bit of decorative stitching. I'll be striding into the next stage of life with confidence and power in these babies. Won't it be fine to be back in the South again....

December 29, 2007

Wednesday
Dec262007

Christmas is over, time to get moving

Christmas is over and as the grey days stretch into dark nights, E and I are working to get ready for our move. In mid-January, our lives will be tucked into boxes and crates, covered with shrink wrap, and begin their journey toward America. We’ll catch up with our belongings in mid-March when a gigantic truck parks in front of our new house.

E spent part of an afternoon trying on clothes, releasing hopes of fitting into old pants, and assembling a big bag of giveaways. He’s been winnowing through his stash of tools and household chemicals in the garage. He dedicated the better part of a day to backing up our hard drive and removing excess files and programs. The filing cabinets and desk drawers are next to be purged.

Some neighbors stopped by to look through our giveaway piles. It was sad to see our croquet set go. We’ve had a lot of fun as a family playing croquet in the yard here, but our new home sits on a wooded lot with every inch of land near the house landscaped with beds and greenery. No grass. No croquet.

I have toys set aside for the Wee Curly Grrrl at Di’s, clothes set aside for charity, games set aside for an orphanage, books stacked up for the Boy Scout book sale, and electrical appliances and accessories set aside for Expat-CIT who will arrive here in January. I’ve been unpacking items that are currently packed in boxes so the movers can put them in sturdy new boxes. I have mountains of Tupperware, stacks of dishes, and enough mugs to serve coffee to the whole neighborhood—and this is after getting rid of some stuff earlier this fall.

Still despite all the evidence that our life here is ending and change is in the air, the reality hasn’t hit me yet. E is engaged mentally with the move on a dozen levels but my brain is processing information in slow motion. While he’s enjoyed his time here, he is eager to assume new responsibilities in his job near D.C. and put the bureaucracy he’s struggled with in Belgium behind him. My feelings are decidedly mixed. I look ahead to our new life and home with excitement AND trepidation. I’m eager to see old friends and be closer to family, there are places and things that I’ve missed, but I also live in fear of being smothered by an “ordinary” life in Virginia.

Being an expat has sometimes been frustrating or lonely, but it’s continually challenged me to think differently, live differently, experience the world from an entirely new perspective. I re-invented my life in Belgium, started this blog, discovered so much about myself, and thrived on being part of a diverse community while seeing Europe as both an outsider and as an insider. It’s been liberating to shake off all the expectations I had for myself and that others had for me and start over, to step outside my comfort zone and stretch my limits.

I don’t want to move back to Virginia and slip mindlessly into old routines and ways of thinking. I want to dwell in possibility and see my life and my self as works in progress. I don’t want anyone to chart a course for me. I want to travel through life without an itinerary. At this stage in my journey, I need to believe that I’m not done surprising myself, discovering new interests and talents, making new friends, embracing challenges, and finding new sources of wisdom and strength.

December 26, 2007

Wednesday
Dec262007

She reminds me of...

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...Claudia.

December 26, 2007

Monday
Dec242007

Wishing you joy, love,  peace

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Hold a true friend with both hands--Kanuri Proverb

Thursday
Dec202007

I have animal magnetism

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Photo by Di Mackey. www.dimackeyphotography.com

Di caught me sharing a hug with Santa's reindeer in Valkenburg, Holland. I like the desperate, wild look in his eyes.

December 20, 2007

Tuesday
Dec182007

Scenes from Valkenburg, Holland

Gert, responding to Di's nagging  loving request, planned a trip for us in Valkenburg, Holland. The city is the site of caves, created by the Romans when they were gathering stone for their building projects. They also served as bunkers during WWII.  Today the city holds a Christmas market in them.

We knew the caves would be intriguing, but the charm of the town itself was an unexpected bonus.

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Thanks Gert and Di for warm memories of a cold December day.

December 18, 2007