My day
November 9, 2007 at 10:11 I keep trying to talk myself out of writing this post, because no one really wants to hear about my day and my bad mood and the very cold temperatures and howling winds and blowing rain that hit on the day I had to take public transit into the city.
I pulled my big Goretex, Thinsulate, Polartec coat out of the closet for the first time this season. At the bus stop, just as the rain hit, I reached back to put up my hood and realized the hood had been detached last season and left in a box with hats and scarves in the attic.
No, I didn't have an umbrella because when the wind is gusting the way it is, it's pointless to try and use one.
The bus was late. Very late. Which meant my finely honed schedule involving Metro, bus connections, and a doctor's appointment was shot to hell. And I was cold.
I arrived at the Metro station just as the train I needed pulled away. Had to wait 10 minutes for the next train. Further and further behind....
And during the ride into the city, I suddenly developed a lump in my throat and felt like the loneliest girl. I tried to hide my tears from strangers and wished for the Free Hugs people to to magically show up so I could feel someone's arms around me.
Because the weather was so abyssmal, I tried to shorten my walk to the doctor's office by connecting to another Metro line and riding it one stop. It took me a while to figure out how to get to the connection, and when I dashed down to the platform, the train I needed was pulling away.
Had to wait another 10 minutes.
Did I mention my iPod died in transit? No music to distract me from all these minutes wasted waiting for my day to move forward.
At the chiropractor's I had my back and knee worked on. My son, who fell onto concrete and hurt his wrist and his back last month, had his back adjusted and his arm worked on. My daughter wrenched her knee yesterday at soccer practice and so he worked on that. I'm grateful for the miracles he performed with our aches and pains, but it meant my carefully alotted stash of euros was severely depleted by the unexpected expense, making me wonder if I'd have enough money to last until E gets back from his two-week trip to Australia.
When we stepped out of the doctor's office, it was pouring. Just pouring. We had to walk about a mile in the rain to the Metro. My hair got so soaked it was sending rivulets of cold misery down my neck. My coat looked like I'd gone swimming in it. My mascara went Goth on me.
We took the Metro to the mall so I could get the kids some lunch and do a bit of Christmas shopping. I have to mail out my Christmas packages to the States really early, before Thanksgiving.
We went to Belgium's only fast food chain, the ironically named "Quick." It was anything but. We waited 20 minutes in line behind ONE customer. I'm not sure who was more hopeless, the clerk or the customer. Neither of them could get their act together. Just as the customer is finally getting his food, his buddy bounds into the restaurant and cuts in front of us to place his order.
I am beyond pissed. I have not had such a good day. I'm not in my happy place. I may be under the influence of evil PMS hormones. My hair is wet, my kids are hungry, I'm going to miss the bus I need to catch because it's taking so long to get "fast food" and I want to tell this guy to "mangez merde" and get behind me. But I don't.
I'm short on euros. I buy the kids large orders of frites and tell them we'll have the rest of our lunch at home.
I go to the L'Occitane store and charge 88 euros on gifts, well over a hundred dollars. I'm happy to say the store clerk was helpful, polite and warm. She was a bright spot in my day.
The kids and I went to the nature store where I see several things I'd love to have, but I don't buy anything. I show the kids what I want for Christmas, a polartec hood/scarf combo in deep red with white embroidery edging the hood. Perfect for wet, windy weather!
The kids browse in a toy store, even though they're really too big for toy stores now. Then I tell them we have to go or we'll miss our bus and it only runs every hour.
We head downstairs and I have to buy a new Metro pass. Much to my surprise, they have a new type of ticket machine, and it only takes coins or Proton cards. You can't use bills with it. Damn! I had spent 8 euros worth of change upstairs in the mall and have hardly any change left. I'm scrambling, seeing if I can find more coins.
Even with English prompts, it's not clear how the machine works. It's different from the old one. My transactions keep getting cancelled by accident. Then it won't take my coins. I don't have enough for a Metro pass, I'm going to have to buy three separate tickets in three separate transactions and I'm counting my pennies to see if I can pay for it. The machine won't take pennies. I finally get enough change together and get our tickets bought, but not before we miss our train.
Forced to wait another 10 minutes.
Arrive at the other station in time to see that we missed our bus too.
There are no seats available to sit in while we wait...It will be an hour until a bus can take us home.
After a bit, I find another bus that will take us within two miles of home. We take it and walk that last mile and three quarters in the cold blowing wind, carrying our packages. At least it wasn't raining, but my hands are so cold, my joints ache.
And while my day was hardly a disaster, it was just enough to send me over the edge. This isn't a nice post. It doesn't have a point. It doesn't contain any wisdom, it's not well written, it's not inspiring.
But it is my day, my life, my blog, and I'm claiming it for what it is, not for what I wish it would be.
Today the grey skies are right on top of my head and I just want to rest in someone's arms.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better.
And at least I have the cat to sleep with.
November 9, 2008
Reader Comments (37)
The skies have opened up here in Canada too, in my little part of the world. It's a miserable one.
Diane
<<, virtual hugs & sunshine >>
They're at wonderful ages but also tough ages. They're independent and restless, no longer easily entertained by the types of activities and outings that always made them happy in the past. They're ready for MORE but not sure what it is they want. It's a hard stage for them and a hard one for me too. I'm in the same place in a lot of ways.
It gets lonely. At night I want to crawl under my desk, drink tequila, and listen to Johnny Cash sing all the hurtin' songs. Tonight I'm opting to skip the tequila and hiding and just do Johnny Cash and some art...
Hang in there, Expat CIT. We ARE remarkable women; even when we feel fragile, we're strong.
1) Someone stole my daughter's wallet out of her handbag when... I was holding it for her at a department store while she was trying out clothes.
(Good going Mom!)
2) Got some really bad news from a close relative... and cried my heart out.
So much for "reaching out and touching someone".
3) I just finished eating my second chocolate bar for consolation.
Guess who's going to hate herself in the morning?
4) I don't even have the courage to blog about it on my my own blog. So I'm crying on your blog's comment-shoulder.
Nothing like passing the whine bottle among friends.
I'm especially sorry you "reached out and touched someone" and got bitten in the process. That's the kind of wound that doesn't heal easily and brings on so much self doubt.
You say this blog doesn't have a point. I think it does. I think it says a whole lot about you, your character, your priorities, your needs/desires, your coping skills.
Women like you want the cake, with decedant calorie-free frosting, served on a silver platter, from a hunky guy. You want it all -- a circle of understanding friends, a strong marriage, wonderful children, a supportive husband,a great sex life, a secure income to spend as you please so you have the flexibility to pursue your dreams and be free to make your own choices and make your own decisions, to be understood, to be encouraged, to always have someone around to give you a hug when the going gets tough.
It's a great dream, but, it's not reality for most people and it doesn't come free. There's a price, and you paid some of your dues today. Some people (men and women) have to pay a much heftier price for just a portion of that dream.
She just had a bad day: lecturing her on how hard life can be is pointless: she just needs some arms to rest in.
Trust me, V doesn't need anyone to serve her cake: she can bake her own.
V--I hope you are having a more comforting evening at home ... feeling better after your chiro adjustments, with the warmth of home, Johnny Cash, crafts, etc. Many hugs until you feel yourself again. I've had bad days and I can't remember one recently that compares to yours today.
Flybberwinkle--So sorry about your day, too. The chocolate bars seem well justified to me. Hope tomorrow is better for you.