Changes in Christmas tradition

It used to take me days to decorate for Christmas. I was one of those women who left no surface untouched by holiday merriment. My bannister was dressed in greens, ribbon, and gingerbread men. My doorways ALL swathed in garland. Every hutch, cabinet, and table featured a nativity set or plate collection or tableau of adorable snowmen or wooden reindeer or a bowl of holly and pinecones. Stockings were hung in the windows and along the mantel. There were angel suncatchers, candles, ribbons, greenery, wreaths, decorated baskets, all of it. I photographed my decorative themes  so I could remember how to set things up the following year. Everything had to be "perfect."

Every holiday season we did the same events: the Christmas parade, a gingerbread house museum, a festival of decorated trees, the Nutcracker, choral performances, church Christmas pageants and services, office Christmas parties, and bunches of other holiday events we received invitations to. I baked cookies, made fruitcakes, and every other year, I hosted a big open house at our home and invited 50-60 people. Each child had an Advent calendar and a mini Christmas tree and every night we said Advent prayers and lit the candles on our Advent wreath. We had everyday Christmas plates and mugs to use all through December and fine holiday china for the big day. E decorated the front of the house with lights. Throughout December I wore holiday jewelry and sweaters and was Little Miss Christmas. For at least fifteen years, that's what Christmas looked like at Chez V.

Today, the thought of all my over-the-top holiday celebrations makes me shake my head in wonder because now I celebrate Christmas so differently.  I've been scaling back  for years, and I'm down to the essentials. I left many of my holiday decorations in storage in the U.S., and I don't even put out all the ones I brought with me to Belgium. Now it's all about hanging a few wreaths, setting up ONE nativity set (I used to do four or five!), having a Christmas tree, and attending church.  Forget the rest.

The kids make paper chains and hang them where they choose. We still have an Advent wreath but I'm late getting it out this year. I send out some cards and small gifts  but don't host parties. As for holiday events, the kids didn't even want to attend the local tree lighting on Friday night, preferring to sit by the fire with books. We've gone to one Christmas market in Germany, we may attend a parade on the 28th, but other than that, only church services are on our schedule--and no one seems to mind a bit.

Yesterday we put our tree up, and for the first time in 26 years, we have COLORED lights on it. I've always liked the tree to have a slightly rustic, old-fashioned look and white lights were part of that. When the kids asked E if we could have colored lights, he said, "Ask your mother." I'm sure he expected me to shudder slightly before saying no, remembering all the Carefully Orchestrated Christmases of years past. Instead I said, "Sure, why not? Whatever you want."

Yes, I still like white lights better, but over the years I've seen that how Christmas looks has little to do with how it feels. When we're gathered together around a table in December, sharing love with far flung friends and family, attending church, or sitting around the tree together, life is perfect whether it's wrapped in garland and bows or not.

December 10, 2007

Comments

[Alex]

Maybe it's a typo -- due to the general nastiness and idiocy of the posts I have been subconsciously reading WTF instead of WF. Good on you, V, for your response. Your writing is wonderful, your posts thought-provoking and the community here supportive (with one giant exception) and highly amusing. Keep it up!

[Peter]

[on comment moderation] While I applaud the very clear contempt expressed toward the abusive posts by 'WF', I still feel it's safer to block anonymous comments. If a reader is not willing to provide basic information like an email address or a blog URL, the chances that a comment is intentionally aimed to troll become quite significant.

On my own blog, I have to delete a significant number of bogus comments on a daily basis (spam is handled automatically). Some are posted to insult or abuse the comment section, just like WF did.

An 100% open door approach can be inviting, but much like we prefer to know the names of our RL guests, some basic ID can be no problem for anyone wishing to post an authentic comment.

[Shirley]

I, too, will mostly avoid comment on the malcontent who used and abused. My teaching training also says that for some individuals, negative attention is the only way they get attention. So, not "sinking to their level."

I agree with Vaninnie that when you turn decorating over to kids, a whole new look is produced--a look usually full of deightful surprises. I saw that with our son and just the other night with some children of some friends. I knew they would be bored when visiting so I put them in charge of setting up my son's nutcracker display. I gave them two pieces of Christmas material to pick from for a tablecloth and then let them "go at it." They used both pieces of material, overlapping them in the middle, and then arranged the nutcrackers mostly by height in a tight triangle in the middle of the table. Way cool, and they had a blast.

I can never pick between white lights or colored. White lights in the windows for sure. A mixture on the tree. I like the idea that one person wrote about doing both on the tree so that you can turn on one or the other or both, but we mix ours all up. Not sure if I could talk my husband into the planning required for the either/or approach. I am lucky to get him to throw on what he does. LOL For us, decorating is slightly different each year and I like that ... not being stuck on one thing. Like you, V, I have downscaled a lot with the decorating. Outside decorating is always just a couple of wreaths and bows, but inside decorating used to be lots of things on many surfaces. Just not into that any more and I pretty much avoid "cute" now (always, not just at Christmas). "Cute" is only allowed in ornament form on the Christmas tree; otherwise, "cute" is another word for clutter and requires dusting. I bet your kids will always remember being able to put colored lights on the tree and doing a few simple rituals. It says so much more than running here and there trying to cram in tons of festivities. Have a wonderful Christmas!

[Amber]

I bet it will be a nice, peaceful Christmas, too.

I like white and color on the tree. But ONLY color outside on the house. The tackier the better! lol

:)

[Ash]

Goodness V, what a lot of drama! Thank goodness my name has three letters and not two, and of course I'm in Europe! Back to the post though- our Christmas is much scaled down this year due to rather uncomfortable situation at home. I'm slowly getting there though.