The long road

About three weeks ago, my mother-in-law's health took a sudden turn for the worse. She lives with E's sister in Florida and suffers from Parkinson's disease, an Alzheimer's-like form of dementia, and rheumatoid arthritis.

Until recently she was mobile, plugged in mentally most of the time, and not suffering a lot of pain. Then suddenly everything took a sudden and inexplicable dive in January, and she became bedridden, unable to feed herself, confused, and riddled with mysterious aches.

E's sister, an attorney and mother of four boys ranging in age from 5-12 years, has spent hours at the Mayo Clinic looking for answers, treatments, hope. Meanwhile, her home life has spiraled out of control and her professional work suffered as she has scrambled to deal with the logistics and stress of her mother's condition. E is flying out tomorrow for a week to visit his mom and help his sister catch up on paperwork, set up 24-hour nursing care, and get things settled a bit.

And despite the sad state of affairs, the kids and I will be here wishing we were there.

Because we should be.

Because my children need to see their grandmother before she slides even further into the abyss of pain and illness.

Because she's been part of my life for more than 25 years.

Because E should not be going through this alone.

But he has to.

February 14, 2007

Comments

[Rory]

I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time - you and your family. Wishing you all the very best as you weather the storm.

[Lynn]

I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear what a hard time y'all are having. My prayers are with all of you. I really hope E's able to find some good care so everyone is able to feel more comfortable.

[RD]

These moments are so hard, especially when you can't be near. I've always looked forward to this time in my life when I expected the wisdom and stability of being in my 40s to kick in. Instead, much to my surprise, what this decade seems to be marked with is the decline and death of so many people I love and care for. I've hated watching my parents' health fail and beloved aunts and uncles pass away. It's the passing of a generation, and it makes me so sad. I think I know what you're feeling. I wish you all well.

[furiousBall]

Best wishes to you and your family amiga.

[Rick]

Our thoughts are with you. My mother is in a similar condition, teetering on the edge but, thankfully, still on the good side (for the moment).

[mamatulip]

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.

[TB]

Oh V, I'm sorry. It's times like this that I know you wish you were back in the states and the decision from your last post seems all the more clear.
You and E are in my thoughts.

[insideout]

I am so sorry you and your family are in our family prayers...I/O

[Amber]

Oh, that is so hard...I'm so sorry. Wish I could help you all feel better.Grandma, too! :(

oxoxo

:)

[Ortizzle]

Oh, dear. That is one of the things that makes living overseas such a hardship at times. Is there any way you can get a "family vacation" back home paid for once a year? That must be so hard to deal with.

Meantime, big hug, V-grrrl.

[Ortizzle]

Oh, dear. That is one of the things that makes living overseas such a hardship at times. Is there any way you can get a "family vacation" back home paid for once a year? That must be so hard to deal with.

Meantime, big hug, V-grrrl.

[littlepurplecow]

I'll say a little prayer for you and your family tonight. Take care.

[Annie]

I'm so sorry your family is having such a tough time. I've always found these times are the hardest part of living far from home. I'll be adding you all to my prayer list and will be sending good thoughts your way.

[Julie]

My Grandpa too has Parkinsons and went to Mayo Clinic. We put him in a nursing home not that long ago. We didn't want to, but he needed around the clock care by doctors and nurses.

Its been hard. My sister hasn't had a chance to see him yet. My sister who lives 1,000 miles from us hasn't had a chance to see him yet. I think that's hard for her.

Best of luck to you and yours. I hope you get a chance to see your Mom.

[wordgirl]

There is no simple thing to say that will make this better...except to say...I'm thinking of you.

[Tera]

So sorry for all of you. It really stinks when you can't be with those you love to help them through. That's the side of living overseas that makes you want to pack up and head back home. I wish all of you the very best in this situation. And I sincerely know what you're going through. Take care of yourself, V.