Taking the train

Despite being willing to move my family across the world and live the expat life, I don’t consider myself adventurous. If I’m honest (and let’s be honest here), I can be a bit neurotic about travel.

I may be quick with a joke, a creative thinker, and a whiz at written communications, but I’m seriously handicapped when it comes to reading maps, visualizing spatial relationships, and having a sense of direction. I’m stumped by things that require assembly, I’m bad at jigsaw puzzles, and I have to travel a route many, many times before it imprints on my brain.

Because of this, I have a fear of getting lost. My husband, the human GPS, can create maps in his head based on scant driving experience. He “sees” how all the landmarks and roads in an area relate to a larger whole, has a finely tuned sense of direction, and notices geographical features. Me? I’m the Grrrl who can travel a route every day for a month and still not be able to tell you whether a given street is the first or second right, whether I’m going uphill or down on a certain portion of the trip, or whether I pass the church before or after I pass the bakery.

I can read maps, but I have to work at it and it’s a slow process. When I’m out and about, I have to consciously focus on what I’m seeing and how to get to a place. I have to study my surroundings, repeat a description of it in my head, and sometimes even write it down or take notes to jog my memory so that I can find my way back home or repeat the journey later. I’m excellent at remembering the names of places, streets, and things, and I use words to help me navigate whenever possible.

Still, I do get anxious about traveling to unfamiliar places alone and have to buck myself up a bit with a pep talk to overcome my resistance to visiting new places by myself. Add the language barrier to my interactions in Belgium, and I have another obstacle to overcome. I’m comfortable with mass transit in the Brussels area and do a bit of local driving, but until last week, I hadn’t ever ridden the train to another city by myself. Yes, I also have a fear of getting on the wrong train or getting off at the wrong stop and really getting lost. (I understand if you’re rolling your eyes at this point and calling me a baby. I admit I am one! I salute all of you that have boldly driven and traveled all over Europe solo. You go!)

This week though, I finally got my courage up regarding train travel because I really wanted to visit my friend Di in Antwerp. Her husband Gert kindly read the train schedule for me and recommended some “fast trains” to try based on his experience. On Tuesday morning, I took the bus to the metro station, the metro to the train station, and then found the ticket counter and bought my ticket.

Moments later Di called me on my cell to tell me there was a dispute over train service and a mini-strike going down in Antwerp. Oh no. When the train I was intending to ride was cancelled, I went to the information booth, and didn’t get heartburn when the man there told me the schedule was irregular today, and I should just go stand on platform 5 and get on the next train I see heading to Antwerp. He wasn’t sure when it would arrive. There were announcements being made in Dutch and French but because there were people using JACKHAMMERS on the platform at the time, I couldn’t hear anything. I didn’t dare leave to go to the information booth for fear a train would come while I was gone. Oh, why did this have to happen? I was so looking forward to seeing Di.

Happily a train appeared within 30 minutes. I hopped on it and watched diligently for my stop. Fellow passengers asked me for directions in a variety of languages, and while I regretted I couldn’t help them, I was glad to know I wasn’t the only one who sometimes becomes confused when traveling.

Di met me at the station in Antwerp so I wouldn’t have to ride the tram to her place by myself. As I greeted her with a big hug, I couldn’t help but let out a victorious, “I did it!”

Being a fellow expat, I knew she’d understand the sense of accomplishment that comes with stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to do something new, even if it’s quite ordinary. And I also know that the next time I ride the train to Antwerp, I’ll be ready to handle the tram all by myself.

April 5, 2007

Copyright 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl in the Middle. All rights reserved.

Comments

[AP-in-UK]

I have those “I did it” moments every day! And I didn’t realize until I moved here how often I used fast-food restaurants as “navigational icons” in the US – “Turn right at the McDonalds, pass the Pizza Hut, then turn left at the Burger King”. Without the ubiquitous fast food places, I get lost easily…

[Shirley]

I understand those feelings of trepidation regarding travel completely. Point me in the direction of a big city (no matter the means of travel) and I am like Oh NO! This is toooo hard.Heck, riding the train from our town to anywhere is a feat (that's why we've never done it yet) so I understand. Unmarked trains, erratic schedules, having to cross over tracks ... ugh, and people here do speak my language. You should be proud! It does make a big difference when you have a friend waiting at the end of the line, doesn't it? So cool that you and Di got together like that!

[Amanda]

i'm the EXACT same way with travel, no sense of direction and a giant irrational fear of becoming lost. i once took the bus from boston to new york (to do my expat visa papers!) my first trip to new york EVER and when i arrived at the station i immediatly started hyperventilating and was pushing back tears because i was so scared of getting lost in NEWYORK! my first time taking the bus here, i clutched my purse so hard and kept my eyes glued to the road the entire time. i was so nervous i got off 2 stops too early. i've taken the train to a couple of different cities by myself, but only after i got a ride to the city i was suppose to go, learned where the train station was and learned the route i had to walk.
dont feel bad. you're not alone!

[javacurls]

Way to go V! I love those "I did it" moments!

[Amber]

Good for you! Yahoo!

I laughed when you talked about your husband and "seeing maps". That's what i do, and Kory is the one who is like you! lol. I still can "see" the map we traveled in Euprope, like eight years ago! Ha!

:)

[V-Grrrl]

I'm a nice Grrrl, Amber, so I won't call you a freak. : )

[Lynn]

When I went to Europe in the late 80's with my sister and a friend, we landed in Luxembourg and immediately took a train to Barcelona. We got off the train in Barcelona one stop too soon. We read the train schedule and went to the platform to get on the train - it came, we got on, and started heading north again (back to France) instead of south to the right Barcelona stop!!! This is with two of us having about 6 years of Spanish EACH!! Yikes! We were so tired and hungry at that point we decided to skip Barcelona and to go somewhere else! Unfortunately, we got off in Port Bou, got something to eat and couldn't find a hotel room and ended up spending the night on the train station floor because we'd missed the last train out!! Oh to be young and adventerous again! Thankfully, we ended up having a great time after that, but it was an awfully hard start to our 3 weeks there... I couldn't do that again!

[Ortizzle]

When I lived in Spain, I had no trouble taking buses, subways, trains, whatever, and most of the time I was on my own. But when I went to Italy, where I did not know any more Italian than 'scusi' and 'ciao'... it was very scary buying my train ticket and wondering if I would end up in Florence or God knows where. If I had run into a schedule mess up like yours, I am certain I would have ended up God knows where.

Maps? I love city street maps, they save my life. But I have to turn them around to face the direction I would literally be traveling in, ha, ha!

[bubandpie]

I sometimes wonder if I was dropped as an infant on the part of the brain governing spatial reasoning. As a teenager, I was driven to piano lessons by my mother once a week for three years - and then I got my licence and tried to drive myself and became hopelessly lost.

[RD]

Absolutely an accomplishment to be proud of! I think it's pretty easy to get turned around with train schedules, especially in a different language. Add to that a strike and you're lucky not to have ended up in Prague.

[Di]

I was like that too, first time and a new destination always throws me but I love that delicious moment of awareness when you realise 'Hey, I'm on a train traveling to Brussels ...'

[furiousBall]

touchdown. GPS is pretty cool. But I worry if it proliferates, we may have a digital watch type problem. You know how some people actually struggle with reading an analog watch? What if people get so dependent on GPS they can't go anywhere? Actually now that I think of it, if the dumb people in this world just stayed put, that's not a bad thing. I bet W would just wake up everymorning and mill around his bedroom and not invade anything. That would rule.

[Angela]

I really felt for you in this post. I, too, am directionally challenged. So woo-hoo for you! You did it!

[Mignon]

I'm a spacial person (love puzzles and IKEA assembly projects, inner-GPS and all that), but Missoula confuses the hell out of me. It's got an interior section that is turned 45 degrees off-kilter because of an early 1900's dispute between city planners, and in that section of town I NEVER know which way is north. So there's always somewhere that messes with our heads. Unlike you, though, I don't drive through the Slant Streets to prove that I can. I'm chicken like that.

I know you're Italian, but that photo makes you look tres chic European. Danish or, or - no! You look NORTHERN Italian. I can see why people asked you directions on the train.

[littlepurplecow]

I too am timid solo traveler and have to push myself out onto new routes with a trusty written set of directions. Getting there is an accomplishment, but returning home gives me a true sense of peace.

[Cissy]

Love the photos Di took of you. Gorgeous. Traveling alone is always a bit daunting. I've traveled everywhere, and went to Korea solo. That was quite scary, but an experience I'll always remember.

[Nance]

I hear you! For me, north is whatever direction I'm facing, and it is ridiculous when my mother says, "Nance, remember, the lake (Lake Erie) is north." How silly! Like I automatically have a sensor for fresh water. When she and my husband start talking route numbers, I can just feel my eyes start to glaze over and my mind leave my body.

[TB]

I think this is one of the best things about traveling, or I imagine, being an expat. You are forced to take yourself out of your comfort zone. It's too easy when you're in your regular schedule to never push yourself. Good for you!