House hunting

E and I bought our first house when I was 21. We lived in Oklahoma, a place where real estate was cheap, cheap, cheap. In the early 80s we bought a small three-bedroom brick house that was only a few years old, and it cost us all of--wait for it, y'all--$36,000. Some of y'all drive vehicles that cost more than our first house.

In 1990, we moved back to Virginia and were shocked by real estate prices. This time around we bought a bigger house on a bigger lot in a lake community, and that charming Cape Cod cost us all of $139,000. I was a nervous wreck about spending that much money on a house. It seemed extravagant; I couldn't sleep at night.

But oh, how I loved that house--the way the light moved through it, the hardwoods and pine trees that swayed outside the windows, the cozy corners upstairs. Over the years we tore out carpet and put in solid oak floors, we replaced the cheap vinyl in the kitchen,  and we added on a family room with floor to ceiling bookcases and built in cabinets surrounding a fireplace, loads of windows, and pretty French doors.  E built a garden shed in the backyard. Later we completely remodeled the master bath and had a Jacuzzi put in.

When we decided to move to Belgium, we rented the house to a friend, who allowed us to use a closet upstairs to store some of our family heirlooms, and promised to give the house the TLC it deserves. She's done just that and our house is spotless and perfectly maintained.  But as much as we love that house, it's in a poor location relative to schools and E's office. After living close to everything in Belgium, we're no longer willing to embrace the commuter lifestyle and spend hours in transit each day. When we move back, we want to be in a better location, closer to everything.

I found and contacted a realtor in advance of this trip so she could do some legwork before we arrived in the U.S. and target the area we were interested in. On Tuesday we visited a number of homes and were reminded how hard the home buying process is.  We'll be spending a lot more money for a lot less house, and weighing advantages and disadvantages against the house we already own complicates things.

So far in the process, I've been able to visualize myself happy in a number of settings while E has had a harder time.  Tomorrow we hit the road again to step into people's homes and private lives, to witness the places they've loved and raised families. Some folks are retiring, some people are being transferred, some are already gone. Each time we unlock a front door, I know someone's hopes are being raised, that someone is praying we're the right buyer. Some of the homes are immaculate, lovingly tended and decorated, and you just know it's hard for the owners to let them go.  As I look through these houses, the specter of my own beloved house follows me. I feel protective of the homeowners, wanting to reassure them in some way that I understand what these rooms hold for them, what the house means, and that if we buy it, we'll tend the ghosts of their memories with love.

July 13, 2007

Comments

[Elisabeth]

At age 54, due to life circumstances, I have never owned a house, and I am not sure whether or not I want to take that step now. But I love the place in which I live now, and I am quite attached to it.

I wish you the best of luck in your house-hunting process. Giving up the home you now own - even if you do not presently live in it - must be rather difficult. Are you sure that you will not change your mind?

[TB]

And the median price of houses now must really be freaking you out!

I know what you mean about being in someone else's home and that inimate feeling you get, having recently sold and bought another home myself.
It's so odd to be in a stranger's space, to have access to their private things and try to piece together who they are.

[furiousBall]

House hunting no matter how much time you have to look always induces stress. When I look at a home, I always try to visualize if I can see myself sleeping on a couch somewhere in there. After that then I consider number of bedrooms, stripper poles, etc...you know the necessities. ;-)

[Inside Out]

I went back in time to when we were searching for homes here in Houston. That was so well written that I found myself back in all those homes and the feeling that you described above. The house we did purchase was from a retired couple that had built the house and lived there since 1983. When we closed on the house you could see in her eyes that she was almost loosing a child she had raised...I/O

[Shirley]

I can't imagine how tough it must be. We looked at many, many houses and existing house plans with nothing that really appealed to us completely before we bought three lots together on the small lake (in your lakefront community, of course). I designed our house, we hired a draftsman to do the blueprints, and we had a contractor friend build it. We wanted the log cabin look and feel, but not the expense or potential problems so we decided on cedar siding. It's a very simple, open house and not huge (2500 sq feet and very deceiving from the outside--as the T design faces the lake and woods, not the street), but there is no wasted space and it has exactly the things we want. After over 20 years of living here, we still love it. I can't even imagine having to give it up one day.

I like what you say Furious about imagining yourself sleeping on a sofa somewhere in the house. For me, it would be imagining a Christmas tree up and being able to see the house decorated at Christmas time ... imagining us entertaining family and friends for special events in the house.

V--I love how you are acknowledging and honoring the owners' feelings. Re: prices, when I think of what we spent on our house ($78K in 1986, and like you we were scared to death at what we had done!), I can only imagine the sticker shock you must be feeling--even after a recent drop in home costs. When I hear of people's mortgage payments these days, I absolutely grimace and don't know how they can survive with the cost of everything else. Yet, I know you and E will find a home you love that meets your needs and budget. It will speak to you and you will just know it's the right one!

[platypus]

House prices are terrifying and I know how stressful it is to buy - although I think it's different here in terms of the process. Having lived in so many houses over the years though I can't help but envy people who have actually put something of themselves into their homes and who have years of family history tied up in them. Maybe one day.

[Peter]

Happy home hunting Veronica, I can imagine it won't be easy.

After a rather messy separation I returned to Antwerp, Belgium, only to find out that 300,000 EURO is quite normal for a condo in Antwerp, so I'm renting.

I could go way cheaper, but I love living near the river, making buying basically no longer an option.

Like you found out, buying becomes harder when you already own a house you love, but which unfortunately involves spending hours in transit each day.