What do you want to be when you grow up?

I started keeping a journal when I was 11 years old, and by the time I was 12, my teachers were commenting about my aptitude for writing. In seventh grade I had to research a career, and my project was on newspaper feature writing. In high school, I was a correspondent for the local paper, occasionally had Letters to the Editor published, and studied creative writing and literature through a gifted program associated with a local university.

Still, I wasn't sure I wanted to be a writer. In high school, I was a member of Future Teachers of America and considered a career in education. I loved environmental science, but I hated advanced math so I didn't pursue that path of study very far. In college I declared an English major and considered a career in law because I was detail-oriented and loved to pick apart ideas and arguments. 

I married E when I was 20 and left college in Virginia to follow him. I ended up working as a newspaper reporter in Oklahoma, covering all sorts of stories, including quite a number of criminal cases. I took loads of liberal arts classes through a correspondence program with the University of Oklahoma, and I especially enjoyed studying sociology. I still entertained the idea of a career in law and even enrolled in a paralegal program at the University of Oklahoma law school before finally deciding journalism was my top career choice.

I went back to school full time and earned a degree in mass communications with a minor in English.  I was in my late 20s when I claimed myself as a writer and developed confidence in my work. My English and journalism professors really encouraged me, and for the first time I began to believe in my talent.  All told, I earned something like 155 college credits total, and you normally need about 120 to graduate. I joked that I deserved a master's degree instead of a bachelor's.

Immediately after graduation, I moved to Virginia but despite my degree and experience, I didn't land a job as a news reporter or copy editor. I was offered a job as a tech writer with the Department of Defense, but while the pay was attractive, I didn't see myself flourishing in such a constrained and bureaucratic position. Instead I worked as a research associate for an environmental consulting firm for a year, helping research and put together reports for corporate clients on their environmental liabilities under federal law. From there, I moved to a job as an editor for a publishing company in the same field before settling into a career as a writer for a public relations agency after my son was born.

The funny part for me is that after exploring a plethora of interests and career options, I essentially ended up choosing the occupation I first envisioned for myself in middle school.

How about you? In terms of a university major or career, did you land in the place you imagined you would? Have you changed fields? If you had to choose again, would you choose a different major? A different career?

June 6, 2007

Copyright 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and v-Grrrl in the Middle. All rights reserved.

John Mayer isn't the only one waiting on the world to change

Some days I'm just like Petey, sitting, and thinking and waiting on the world to change.

Photos by E-Grrrl, age 9

June 5, 2007

Coming to America: Part Two

My first trip back to the U.S. in more than two years is quickly approaching. More of what I can't wait for and a bit of what I can do without:

Culinary delights

1. Having a classic Southern breakfast in a diner—eggs, bacon, biscuits, grits, orange juice.

2. Sweetened iced tea that’s NOT from a can and NOT carbonated.

3. Einstein’s honey whole wheat bagels with butter and a cup of Neighborhood Blend decaf

4. Auntie Anne’s jalapeno pretzels

5. Idaho baked potatoes. (Belgians are all about frites. Mashed and baked potatoes aren’t served here, and baking potatoes aren’t sold in the stores or markets so I can’t make them at home.)

Little Things Make a Big Difference

1. Being able to read every sign, form, receipt, flyer, and menu

2. Understanding what people are saying

3. Driving with confidence

4. Hearing Southern accents

5. Seven-day-a -week shopping; stores that don’t close at 7 p.m.

6. English language movies and TV

7. Listening to the radio

8. Celebrating Fourth of July

9. Outdoor pools and air conditioning

10. Reading a daily newspaper

Not looking forward to

1. Lack of public transit

2. Loud music, loud talking, loud everything

3. All the driving and time on the road

4. Living out of a suitcase for five weeks

5. Leaving some of my favorite shoes and purses at home.

June 4, 2007

Coming to America

At the end of the month, my niece Rock Grrrl will arrive in Brussels. She’s a high school science teacher in America, and last year I had the brilliant idea of arranging a house swap with her. This way we have a place to stay while we’re in the U.S. this summer and she has an opportunity to see a bit of Europe and live like a local.

Of course, when we agreed on the swap, I didn’t realize she only had one bedroom in her condo. Now E and I are thinking that as long as she’s staying here and taking care of Pete the Black Cat and our friendly fish and frogs, we could leave the kids with her as well. House sit, pet sit, and baby sit. That works, right, Rock Grrrl? No problem?

I haven’t been home to America since moving here more than two years ago, and I’m both eager and anxious about my first trip back. We’ll be staying there for nearly five weeks, a long time to live out of a suitcase and be together 24/7, but I’m excited about seeing friends and family and getting a chance to shop. I’ve been making a list of things I want to buy at home, a typical expat thing to do.

Many items on the list are less expensive in the U.S., and some items just aren’t available here. I’m counting on the list to keep me focused so I don’t lose all sense of perspective and go overboard while cruising through the aisles of Target and making rounds in the mall. (Stick to the list, V! Stick to the list!)

What’s tops on my list? New glasses! In the U.S., these cost about HALF of what I’ve paid in Belgium. I desperately need stronger lenses, and I’m pumped up about the idea of new frames.

Some days it’s all I can think about, and yes, I know that sounds pathetic. Trust me, I never expected to be this dull nor did I ever expect to be this BLIND. I’m hoping a jazzy pair of new glasses will help mitigate both problems. Yes, I 'm counting on new glasses to CHANGE MY LIFE. Go ahead and laugh.

The other shopping experience I’m especially psyched up for is a trip to Michael’s craft store. Here in Belgium, arts and crafts aren’t a big deal, and there are very few stores that sell supplies. Most just have a small offering of basic products to choose from. I can’t wait to see the selection of tools, stamps, inks, markers, paints, and paper available in the U.S. I know I’ll be poring over product displays, buying how-to books, and gathering items for future projects. I’ve really come to enjoy indulging my inner artist.

I expect to come home to Belgium inspired and ready for a month of rainy days and an excuse to hole up at home. I'm sure that Belgium, being a wet and wonderful place, will oblige me regarding the weather.

June 3, 2007

Fast Forward

Last week I received my first fall catalog, and I was thrilled because even though summer isn't officially underway yet, I love fall clothes. Eddie Bauer was offering a sneak preview of their fall collection for middle-age fatsos select customers and offering free shipping and a 20 percent discount on all orders over $75 placed from the catalog by June 4. They didn't even have the new stuff on their Web site. Now don't I feel special gettin that catalog. 

Needless to say, I was all over it with a packet of Post-it notes marking my favorites. While it's true Eddie IS my boyfriend, the real reason I couldn't resist ordering is that I much prefer fall and winter clothes to spring and summer ones.

Wool sweaters. Fleece. Hoodies. Boots. Turtlenecks. Leather.

All things brown, cranberry, and olive green.

I am a Grrrl who is all about cozy--and summer stuff just doesn't get me excited. Part of that is a reflection of my age--I don't have sleek, lightly tanned limbs to expose to the world--but part of it is just that I'm very tactile and I relish the textures of cold weather fashion.

So I pored over the catalog, making a wish list and chopping it down, trying to separate the "must haves" from the "maybes" and figure out what was worth investing in. I sent my order off two days ago.

Now I just have to get through the long, hot days I'll face in Virginia and Florida this summer, and solve the Southern Grrrl's dilemma of trying to stay cool while keeping my whale-belly white fair skin covered.

How about you? Do you like fall/winter clothes or spring/summer clothes better?

June 1, 2007

Conversation with my keyboard

V-Grrrl: Geez, keyboard, it’s Thursday afternoon and I have no idea what to write about for my Expatica.com blog.

Keyboard: How about a humorous piece on that guy you saw on the bike—the one wearing white socks, Docksiders, black spandex bicycle shorts with a dress shirt TUCKED INTO the shorts?

V-Grrrl: Sigh. There’s not enough material there to write a whole post.

Keyboard:  Except that right after that, you saw the guy with the flowing white hair and long beard pedaling slowly uphill looking like Santa Claus trying to work off too many Christmas cookies.

V-Grrrl: What would be my theme? Weird people on bikes? That’s not an expat topic.

Keyboard: I guess you’re right. Well you could tell that whole long story about how you didn’t know Monday was a Belgian holiday and so you stayed up really late Sunday night getting the trash and recyclables sorted and bagged to be put out…

V-Grrrl: And then I got up early to go into Brussels for a doctor’s appointment but the bus didn’t come because of the holiday schedule…

Keyboard: And so you spent all that time you could have been sleeping waiting around for a bloody bus to show up and then you finally got to the Metro station and walked a mile to the doctor’s office…

V-Grrrl: Only to discover the doctor wasn’t there--probably home SLEEPING…

Keyboard: And all the cafés were closed so there was no place to stop and get lunch…

V-Grrrl: And we were out of milk and cat food and the grocery stores were closed too…

Keyboard: So you dragged yourself all the way home from Brussels only to see the trash you’d stayed up late sorting was still sitting on the curb because EVERYONE WAS ENJOYING A HOLIDAY but you!

V-Grrrl: Oh Keyboard, just talking about Monday makes me tired and cross. It was such a waste…plus it’s embarrassing to admit that even after two years here, I still don’t know when the holidays are.

Keyboard: Me neither. Did you ever find out what the Belgians were celebrating on Monday?

V-Grrrl: I think it was International Annoy V-Grrrl Day.

May 31, 2007

After the weekend

The worst thing about a holiday weekend? Facing the week after it.

I feel like the entire blogosphere is letting out a heavy sigh. Then again, maybe that’s just ME.

So, I declare today is Two-Line Tuesday.

Yes, I’m making a call for two-line poems with a twist. The first line is the set up and is generally nice, the second line delivers a punch. Only other rule is the two lines have to rhyme.

Now last time, our theme was "Love Gone Wrong" and I delivered these V-Grrrl Classics:

Your eyes so sparkly, your hair so red

Is that the sun, shining through your head?

All day, all night you’re on my mind

Like the rectal itch burning my behind.

Today’s theme is "Weekends Gone Wrong."  For example:

Friday arrived and I had a plan

Does a night with Ben and Jerry

Count as a one-night stand?

(Yeah, I know that’s three lines, but y’all didn’t expect me to sacrifice my art to the rules, did you?)

Holiday weekend—it sounded like bliss

Three days of housework and now I’m just pissed.

The salsa was hot, the beer was cold,

But the girls in bikini tops made me feel old.

Baby was darling, I kissed her sweet head

Moments later, she blew chunks in my bed.

Three day weekend—it promised to be fine

But quality time with the washing machine

Was not what I had in mind.

OK, y’all jump in and roll with it. Bust a rhyme. Tell me about your weekend—real or imagined.

May 29, 2007

Copyright 2007 Veronica McCabe Deschambault and V-Grrrl in the Middle. All rights reserved.

Remembering what we'd like to forget

Henri Chapelle Cemetery in Belgium

8,000 American soldiers' graves

Ten American Boy Scouts

Lots of soap and water

One very long day

cleaning grave markers,

understanding the cost of war,

remembering the dead,

honoring their sacrifice.

These 8,000 graves? They represent only a small fraction of the tens of thousands of Americans who died in Belgium during World War II. This past weekend, E went to Normandy, France--to understand, to remember, to mourn.

May 28, 2007

Ready or not?

“So, are you ready for summer?”

This is the classic greeting these days as the school year winds down.

In the U.S., I was always ready for summer, ready to shift gears, slow down, do something different.

Here in Belgium, I always pause for a long time before I answer. I have to confess: I hate summers in Belgium.

Why?

Because I’ve never found a summer rhythm here.

In the U.S., summer had a nice shape to it. At its center was the library reading program, which offered weekly events and prizes and programs that my kids loved.

In a typical summer, they’d also attend several week-long day camps—Camp Creepy Crawly (an educational camp on amphibians, reptiles, and insects), Junior Rangers (a nature program at a local state park), Art Adventures, Vacation Bible School, and/or Scout camps. I tried to schedule a week of camp and then a week off all summer long.

Day to day life was easy. We had a yard larger enough for them to play soccer in, trees to climb, and places to dig and plant. We lived within walking distance of the neighborhood pool, and every day around 4 p.m. I’d take them there for an hour or two of swimming. It was a place for kids to play and moms to chat. Ditto the lake in my subdivision, which had a sandy beach and a huge covered pavilion on the water with picnic tables. Both my kids loved to go swimming and fishing there and would drop hooks with their dad and see what was biting.

We’d go hiking occasionally, we went on hay rides, we visited a local berry farm on a regular basis and bought whatever fresh fruit was in season. We often drove 25 minutes to a beach near the mouth of the Potomac River and had breakfast on the beach, collected shells, dug in the sand. We usually made some weekend trips and visited with family members—cousins, aunts, and uncles. There were also cookouts with friends and neighbors.

In short, summer was rich with opportunities and places to hang out and to learn, to socialize and to rest.

Belgium has been so different for me. My children attend a school that caters exclusively to English-speaking expats, and it’s the heart of our expat community and a social center. The school plays a much larger role in our life than it ever did in the U.S. and when it shuts down for summer, everything changes.

Life flattens out quite a bit. Many people go back to the U.S. for the entire summer or are tied up hosting endless streams of visitors here in Europe. Moms don’t get together and it can be hard to find playmates for my kids. Most of our Belgian neighbors disappear on extended holidays of a month or more. It’s like a social wasteland.

We don’t live close to an outdoor pool, the nearest one being at least a 35 minute drive away, an area I can’t reach by bus. And while my kids have access to an indoor pool that’s closer, it caters to adults swimming for fitness and has two swimming lanes set aside for kids to use. Not exactly fun. We don’t go there very often.

When I took my kids to the library reading program here, I discovered it’s an entirely different experience. In my old community it was very popular and very dynamic with masses of kids participating. Here, there might be five kids (two of them MINE) who would show up. Not the same.

No more camps either. Because of the language barrier, we can’t participate in the Belgian sports and camps or the community programs. The English-language camps are a bit exclusive—both in price and accessibility. Once again, my reliance on public transit also cramps us and puts some locations out of our realm.

So I compensate by doing cooking and art projects with the kids, buying them books, getting to the parks in our area, encouraging them to be creative, and structuring some educational activities into our weeks. This works overall, we have a good time, but we all burn out and start getting bored before the summer is over. By August, I’ve exhausted all my ideas and I’m just waiting for summer to be over. I never used to feel that way in the U.S., where I’d mourn the end of summer as much as the kids did.

This summer will be dominated by our 5-week trip back home to the U.S. We have loads of business and social commitments on our schedule and I vacillate between thinking we’ll have plenty of time to do everything to thinking we might be run ragged. We’ll be staying in a one bedroom apartment so I worry about us driving each other a bit crazy and tripping over our suitcases. One thing for sure, boredom won’t be a problem with so many people to see and places to go. We’ll just have to keep moving.

So, yeah, I guess I am looking forward to summer, even if I am just a tiny bit nervous about how it will all play out. I know it will be an adventure, a trip to our past and to our future.

Are you looking forward to summer? What have you got planned?

May 25, 2007

Is this CNN or the National Enquirer?

There are days when I'm embarrassed to admit I have a degree in journalism and am indirectly associated with the professionals that bring you so much drivel.

Case in point.  These are all the headlines on CNN.com International, U.S. site:

Lead story: Texas town worries about polygamists

News headlines:

• Employees fired for gossiping about boss
• Police: Wife loses lip after calls man short
• Crews bang pipes hoping to steer whales
• Town oppposes "body farm" plans
• Sexual harassment allegations rock Folsom

Watch Video headlines:

• Microwaved baby's mom speaks
• Labor shortage on U.S. farms
• Stripping for college credit

We're at war in two countries and this is what a supposedly reputable news source is focused on? Honestly, the line between tabloid journalism and mainstream media fades every day.